I'm completely smoke-free now. Day one seemed easy. Day two seemed easy. Day three, I got a little bored and needed something to occupy myself for a little five minute vacation every so often.
Day four through NOW...I'm a freaking MESS.
Why?
1. It's true. You gain weight when you quit. Now, I know I could stand to gain a few. But when you pull on your jeans only to see MUFFIN TOP, it's disheartening, to say the least. I almost cried. I can't afford bigger clothes, so I've got to cease this weight gain at the very least, maybe kick the whatever it is that I gained from quitting. No, I haven't eaten any more - nicotine raises your metabolism by 10%. If you quit, you have to eat 10% less or burn 10% more calories. Doesn't sound like much, but when you're fighting the urge to stick a cancer stick in your mouth anyway, it sucks to say "no, no smoking. And by the way, don't replace it with food."
2. No positive effects yet. Seriously, my skin looks no better. My hair looks no better.
3. Actually, I've had NEGATIVE effects. Can't get enough air into my lungs. Feels like I'm breathing through a pinhole. It's called asthma.
4. Don't EVEN say anything that I may consider mean, spiteful, annoying or just plain not what I want to hear. I'm freaking cranky. Oh, I know it. Thank you to all who have put up with me. Last night, the boy came over and hung out for a little while. While I DID have something I needed to get off my chest with him (all clear now), I was probably certifiably insane. He teased me about something very minor, and I almost burst into tears. Then I wanted to scream at him. Then I wanted to cry again. The whole time, I just wanted a cigarette. When we talked about what I needed to get off my chest - and he even agreed with me, I still wanted to just be so mean, emotional and downright crabby, I'm surprised he didn't cover me in Old Bay and throw me in a pot of water. Yes, I did apologize for being a brat.
5. My attention span is SHOT. I know, I'm not great on attention span to begin with. But it's taken me just about all day to write this.
6. I am exhausted. Maybe I should get some sleep.
Friday, August 15, 2008
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1 comment:
Hang in there....I think that it will take longer than 4 days to start seeing positives and with all the ideas you are going to get from your previous post you will be busy. I can't pretend that I know how hard it is but I can say that I know very few people who ever regretted the fact that they quit smoking....I doubt you will either, it is just hard right now cause you are in the middle of it.
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