Thanks

I just set the table and the turkey's cooking, so I thought I'd do my little thankful list like everyone else has:

1. Health: I've quit smoking, weathered a much-needed surgery and I still fit into my skinny jeans. I could use a few pounds of muscle and some exercise, but I'm in the 90th percentile of good blood pressure, cholesterol and all that stuff. According to my physical a year and a half ago, I've got iron off the charts and all my vitamins and minerals are in place. Something we all take for granted, but given my endless sinus infection from last month, it's good to be thankful for.

2. A sharp mind: I can still complete the New York Times Crossword before most people I know, and our team won at trivia last night. Wicked smahts do us well.

3. I'm BACK in the South! I don't have to shovel snow but maybe once a year, I've got ten months of balmy weather and I have cheaper gas.

4. I've lost interest in the things that cost a whole bunch of money. Don't get me wrong, if Santa put an SLR Camera or an iPhone under my tree I wouldn't complain, but in the long run, it's not what makes you happy.

5. Good family: I live with my cousin and best friend, and I've gotten closer with a couple of my brothers and my sister and mom over the last year. Yay for that.

6. Reconnections with old friends, maintaining the new ones: I've gotten to know a bunch of my college friends a helluva lot better since we all started these things, and I think just about every really close friend of mine is now on Facebook and connected with me in some sort of manner. It's virtually impossible to lose touch now, right?

7. A damn good dog. I miss Colonel Mustard, but I'm sure he's having a great old time stalking the gravy boat at my mom's house.

8. An art career that starts to surprise me with happy news...I sold a painting this week and have a few really good leads in Charlotte for getting some gallery showings. Very happy for that.

Now that I've waxed poetic, I'm gonna go put my face on and then get ready to EAT!

Well, I thought it was funny.

I can probably only post this because I'm from a town like Lynchburg.

It's 75 degrees on November 25th

Yep, I'm in Florida. We got in late Monday night after driving the Colonel to my mother's house in Lynchburg on Sunday. We didn't stay overnight because we knew we had a long drive ahead of us, we had dinner with my folks and celebrated my brother Blake's 18th birthday and spent a grand total of 2 hours in the burg. It was enough for the Giant to see where I grew up, albeit in the dark.

We've been taking it easy here, I got a lot of stuff done for the business side of being an artist. I made a new business card for the portrait business, wrapped up some loose ends from Philadelphia, contacted some galleries, and made a new resume. I read a book that I've been trying to get through (it's on the thrilling subject of how to make an art career work, which needless to say was probably written during a better economy) The Giant works from home anyway, so he's been busy with his laptop as well.

And now I'm bored. I'm thinking about making him take me to a craft store and I'm going to buy some knitting needles and yarn or something for me to keep my hands busy. I have a sketchbook, but I don't really want to do anything that involves mess, and I've grown away from graphite and towards the messier charcoal for drawing. That'll have to wait til I get back to Charlotte.

We're in a really pretty part of Florida, it's a little outside of Orlando. His parents live in the historic section of Sanford, which has all these cute little bungalow houses built around World War I. It reminds me a bit of Medford, New Jersey - but with palm trees. A little like Sedgefield/Dilworth neighborhoods of Charlotte (like where the lovely Holbrook family resides), and I suspect that many of the houses were the Sears Modern Homes houses, which were, of all things, sold through the Sears catalog in the beginning of the 20th Century. It's hard to imagine that with all our modern conveniences, we don't have anything like those anymore - where you would pick out your house in the Sears catalog and it would be built on your land, with strong, thick walls, open floor plans, and great construction. Where did we go wrong? I remember reading an article about those homes some years back and was fascinated by it - that you could mail-order a whole kit, lumber, bricks and all, and you yourself (or your contractor) could build the American Dream. For those of you who are like me - who aren't fond of McMansions, who sheds a few tears when they chop down trees to build a crappy strip-mall and who might have read the Fountainhead a few too many times - it's something to think about preserving.

But I digress.

Sanford is really pretty, and we've enjoyed our stay here. They've done a really great job of improving their neighborhood and keeping the original integrity and beauty of the area. I'm a little stir-crazy today, but I'm sure I'll find something to do in no time flat.

The photo is obviously my card for the portrait side of things. You'll notice a certain friend of ours, though I can't take total credit for this - a graphic designer friend of mine from way back at the Lamar Dodd school suggested that exact image and I figured his expertise was much better than mine right now. Meghan, I have some mock ups of it if you'd like to frame them or put them in a scrapbook or something. When I was a kid I was in a local newspaper ad for a clothing store and I always have liked that my mom saved them for me.

Had to post this...

Because I saw Drena's post. Obviously this was taken many years ago (in 2003, to be exact), as my hair is pretty short in this picture.

Still kicking...

I'm sitting on my couch right now, exhausted, and it's 5:00. This used to be my prime hour - even in the corporate world - where I got my third or fourth wind. Now I just want to go to bed.

I took all of one of my medications for my "sinus infection" and on day 7 of 14 for the antibiotic. I think they all wipe you out to some extent, but I am feeling a little rundown overall. I got lots of work done yesterday and today, including a mockup of a business card for portraiture, but I can't really focus on anything without just wanting to go to sleep. Not really running a fever, but I honestly wouldn't know anyway, I don't even own a thermometer. I feel somewhat better after the five day steroid, but I don't know if it's because I'm actually getting better or if it's because I'm taking narcotic painkillers for it. If I feel the pain coming on, I take a half of a pill or a whole pill, just because I don't want to sit through 30 minutes of full-blown pain waiting for it to kick in. Now it's just an overall headache whenever I get the pain (which is convincing me more and more that it's not a tooth/dental thing), and to top it all off, I'm having trouble sleeping. You'd think that fatigue would indicate a good 12 hour sleep, but no. I've had maybe 4 hours at a time for the past three nights.

So anyway, I'm still fighting SOMETHING, and I suppose my dental appointment will reveal if there's some sort of cyst in my sinuses like I had originally thought. If not...I guess I'll get bloodwork or go see the Ear Nose Throat doc before I leave for Thanksgiving. I was already having a headache when I baby-sat for Caroline and Owen a couple weeks ago, and Caroline was already sick at that point, so I don't think that either of us gave it to the other, but Meghan now has me worried about the Epstein-Barr virus, so I've been WebMD'ing everything in sight. Yes, I know, I'm crazy. I already had Mono in high school (I think you can't get it again), so I may just have some sort of virus that's getting to me.

The Jolly Green Giant is here and we've been having a lot of fun. My sister came to town Monday night, and we all hung out at my house. The next day, we sat around the house, me and the Giant worked, then we all went to have dinner at the pub and then to the bar near my house for drinks. I hadn't gotten that drunk in a while - I was hung over ALL day yesterday. Tomorrow we're going to Lynchburg to visit with my mom and probably my grandmother, and I'll show him the town I grew up in for a little under 24 hours.

Picture's of the two best-looking guys in Charlotte these days - the Giant and his Sprout, Colonel Mustard. They are rather cute, if I do say so myself.

Three short notes?

I'm about to go to bed, but I will post once more today with one I was working on for a while today. It was fun.

Couple of goings-on...

1. Boots are on the Ground... The Jolly Green Giant's flight made it to Boston from Rome, albeit 4 hours late. Hey, it's Alitalia, so as far as I'm concerned, they were just on Italian time. He was supposed to fly to Washington DC first, giving him a night in his own bed before going to my house, but a four-hour delay meant he had to stay in Boston overnight tonight and then fly out tomorrow morning. Luckily, however, he will actually get here ahead of schedule, they booked him direct to Charlotte. Yay, SkyTeam. Carrie, Judd can't swing an upgrade, can he? Eh, I thought so. It was worth a shot.

2. The Sinus Saga that will NEVER END. I went to the doctor today and got three - count them THREE - prescriptions to knock this stupid sinus pain out. I still haven't gotten any congestion, just a toothache that spread to the entire left side of my head and face. Doc said it sounded like classic sinusitis, but that he wanted to see me back in two weeks "because if it isn't any better, we need to get a CAT scan, that could be something much worse." Way to set me at ease, Doc. I got Levaquin (which could probably kill every bacteria within five miles), a steroid (for inflammation that's just insanely out of control) and some lovely Vicodin for the pain. I didn't think it was in need of something like that...until last night, when I was crying like a three-year-old because it hurt so bad. As for the CAT scan, I had one last year, and someone reassured me that any tumor would have probably shown up on there last year, so I can stop thinking stuff like that. I'm just NOT looking forward to having to go back to the Ear Nose Throat specialist again if that's what I have to do. I have spent so much of my life sick with this stuff that I was SO ready for it to all be cleared up after the surgery I went through last year. Now it feels like I'm just getting a new problem where I cut one down before.

3. Going to...FLORIDA for Thanksgiving! Y'all have no idea how happy I am about this.

Alitalia needs to get back to work, Antibiotic nausea kicks my butt and Hugh Grant dances.

So most of you know I've been seeing this guy...we'll call him...Jolly Green Giant. Because he's jolly and very tall. I don't know, that just came to me. Anyway. The Jolly Green Giant has been in Rome for about two weeks on business (I know, I'm horribly jealous of him), and he's scheduled to come back on Friday and fly to Charlotte on Saturday. He can work from anywhere when he's not on assignment, so luckily he's staying til thanksgiving, when we go to his house in Florida. I'm very excited, but something is beginning to worry me...

The darn striking Italians.

Green Giant's airline, Alitalia, is on strike. Hundreds of flights have been cancelled over the past 2 days. It's now Wednesday, and Friday...is very close, obviously. So I'm following the news VERY carefully...you darn Italians better get back to work. Yet another reason I hate unions.

I didn't ever end up going to the doctor but I figured out that it was a sinus infection and not a dental problem. Don't get me wrong, I've got some rotten teeth, and I'm going to call the dentist soon, but this is not a dental thing. I had pain all over my head, even on my neck, but my teeth felt like they were being pushed down. I had a sinus cyst on the other side of my face a while back, and this felt exactly the same. So I debated going to the doc-in-the-box for a while, and then started going through my massive chest of medicine I've collected over the years. I knew I didn't have a Z-pack or anything lying around, but while looking for some sinus decongestant, I found....

An Antibiotic!

Yeah, I found a ten-day supply of Doxycycline laying around. Yay! Why in the world would I have this laying around? It took me a while to remember, actually - I had it left over from when I had bronchitis a while back. I had forgotten to fill the prescription when I left the doctor's office (he had given me samples in addition to my written prescription) and I filled it one random day when I thought it was for something else. Good thing I did it, though, because after a quick consultation with my primary source for medical advice - WebMD - I found that Doxycycline is, in fact, prescribed for sinusitis often.

I started taking the Doxy yesterday, and I DO feel better - not pain free, but I can sleep and eat without overwhelming pain. I actually made it to sleep without the aid of a painkiller last night, and I felt much better today. However, there is something I neglected to remember about it - you MUST take it on a full stomach. Tonight, when I took my second dose of the day, I got sidetracked by work and didn't eat when I took it. Sure enough, thirty minutes later, I thought I was going to puke. Ten minutes later, I was racing - and I mean RACING - for the toilet. Threw up for a good ten minutes. I HATE throwing up. Haaaaaaaaaaattte it. I'd be a bad bulimic. So, lesson learned - eat something before you take your medicine, Molly.

In better news, though - I AM insured! Not only can I go to the doctor (and the dentist!), I can get reimbursed for my prescription last week.

We're watching one of my favorite movies for the ten billionth time tonight, Love Actually.

So I give you my favorite scene. Hugh Grant, feel free to come dance in my house any time you like.

All I want for Christmas is....

Since all the stores are already putting out Christmas merchandise, Charlotte already has a 24-hour Christmas station and the outlets look like Winter Wonderland with shoppers walking around in shorts, I'll force feed y'all a bit of Christmas spirit. What are all of you wanting for Christmas? And no, I don't mean "new shoes for my kid" or "to have a healthy family" or any of that other stuff. We all know you want world peace and to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony while drinking a coke. I want to know what you WANT. The big stuff, the little stuff, the guilty pleasure stuff, the stuff that no one else is going to want. All that stuff.

SO. What do I want? Good Question. And these are in no particular order, they've just been floating around in my head this year.

1. A camera - specifically, a Nikon D-80. My SLR camera was stolen out of my car a year and a half ago and I've been using my crappy point and shoot ever since. I miss taking decent pictures.
2. The iPhone 3G. I've had dreams where I get one...and then, I wake up and I'm still fighting my blackberry.
3. While I'm at Apple, a 24" iMac. Yes, I've got a very fast, very awesome Macbook Pro already, but since I've started doing web stuff and graphic design, it REALLY does make things easier to have a desktop.
4. Speaking of design, the Cintiq pen tablet. Drawing right into the computer, no crappy paint programs anymore!
5. A gym membership. And a personal trainer, maybe once or twice a week.
6. A new television, specifically, I suppose this one would do. We've got one, but I have to put on glasses to see the guide channel after I sold my huge monster of a television back in April.
7. A vacation. Just about anywhere. India is next on my list of places I really really want to see before I have kids, or at least before I die.
8. A bed. I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor.
9. Paige jeans. Just about anything in a size 24.
10. A guitar. I took a class last year where I had to learn a little bit and I rather had myself some fun. I like this one because it looked and sounded pretty in the store. And yes, I like for everything to look pretty ;)

I could go on, but I won't. That's my top ten.

An open letter to our next president:

Dear President-Elect Obama:

Congratulations. Hope your hangover has worn off.

On to more pressing issues. Namely, the fact that I went to CVS the other day and discovered that my COBRA coverage had ran out on my medical and dental insurance. As I'm fairly healthy, this wouldn't be TOO terrible - I can get my prescriptions for $150 a month and I can go to Planned Parenthood for the lady-parts stuff.

BUT MY TEETH ARE KILLING ME. It's 2:13 am, I have not been able to eat, sleep or think for the past 96 hours because it feels like someone is REPEATEDLY STABBING ME IN THE MOUTH.

I can not afford to go to the dentist or deal with the inevitable extraction, root canal or other medieval torture plot that the evil man has in store for me.

I'm sorry I didn't vote for you, Obama, but I don't think I could have - my lack of dental insurance would have prevented me from getting to my polling place anyway as I have been in too much pain. Do something about my teeth and you've got my next vote - anyone?

Perfectionism...

I'm going to write something OTHER than a bitch-session about moving! Yay!

I have been blog-stalking of late, and I found a blog belonging to a friend from almost 15 years ago. She is now married with two little ones, a boy about two and a little girl she had this summer. She was talking about how she's coming to terms with perfectionism and how her kids are her main source of "letting go" of the idea of doing everything to perfection.

It got me thinking about my own sense of perfectionism, which some might be surprised to know I even possess. Many of my friends tell me that they'd love to have my free-spiritedness and ability to let go of stuff I can't control, and I have to say that it may stem out of the fact that I AM such a perfectionist. Truth be told, if I had my way, I'd do everything to the T. I was a straight-A student, and I never handed in work that I didn't feel was my absolute best. I ruin more paintings than I can count simply by refusing to let something just be "suggested" - I insist on making every detail "perfect". I like for my DVD's to be alphabetized, my art books to be separated from my other books, for my closet hangers to match, and for my bathroom to look like the ad from Martha Stewart Living. I'd love for my house to look like a freaking Pottery Barn catalog and for my shoes to all be in individual boxes. I'd love to dust everything every day and write all of my appointments down in a calendar. I'd like to go see the dentist every six months. I'd like to purge enough of my clothing for it all to fit in the space I have and while I'm at it, I'd like to see the bottom of the laundry hamper most days. I'd like for my drawings to be categorized and archived, and for ONCE be able to find tape when I need it. Above all, I'd love to finish the damn novel.

Unfortunately, reality is a tough pill to swallow. I may have gotten straight A's, but I know that I could have done better and retained more of that information that was rather costly. The DVD's are in a box right now, and there's an album full of the actual disks that I've never gotten around to matching up with their cases. Hell, the DVD shelves aren't even put together, and I'm blogging. My bathroom has a used hawaiian print shower curtain - it's not Martha, but it's free. My house does not and will never look like anything from Pottery Barn unless I actually move into a store. The only piece of furniture I own from there was trash-picked in the rain last year. I have boxes for my shoes, but not enough - it's kind of irking me that the flipflops are all in one shoebox. I don't even know where the damn duster is, I don't even own a calendar, I don't have dental insurance, I can't purge any more clothing without tears, and I think I generate more laundry than any person I've ever met. The drawings are a lost cause, and I can't tell you where one of my 10 rolls of tape is. The novel is still on about a thousand index cards, half of which probably got lost in the move.

Obviously, there's a fine line between perfectionism and chaos reigning supreme, and I tend to straddle that line like you won't believe. I genuinely try every day to get better, but I'm wondering these whether or not our search for perfection simply causes one facet of our lives to suffer when we attempt to improve another. My 28 years of experience tells me that the biggest thing we can do is to simply accept imperfections as part of life, but hey, we all know that's easier said than done. Lately, I'm just trying to be fine with accepting the imperfection of things that I simply can not control - things in which my hard work and effort will never affect the outcome of the situation. I can't help or change the fact that the top of my jewelry chest broke during the move. I can get another top for it, but I can't just change it back to where it was. I can't help the fact that the economy sucks and people aren't really buying art. I can market myself harder and work in jobs outside my field, but I can't force the American public to buy art.

So, now that we've talked about politics, let's talk about how imperfect we are. Seeing as how I know all these five-star women (for the record, I hated that term!), I know that almost all of you are perfectionists in some way, shape or form. What are you trying to perfect about yourself? What are you trying to "let go" of in terms of control? What drives you to tears when you can't get it right? How do you deal with all of it? What example of "perfection" around you do you envy?

My teeth are rotten

Yes, you read that right. I have rotten teeth right now. Teeth that hurt like a MOTHER. Teeth that haven't been professionally examined in years. Yes, I'm terrified of the dentist.

Let me explain a little about my dental history. Bad teeth are simply genetic in my family. Almost all of us had zero cavities when we were younger, only to have tons and tons as we got older. We had braces, retainers, sealants, you name it, and my mom was really really anal about the brushing and flossing business. Every roommate I've ever had has noticed my odd fascination with floss and flossing picks, and I'm a Colgate kinda girl. I managed to get to 12 with no cavities, then one hit, then two more before college. That was the doozie. I went to have them filled, and my IDIOT dentist seemed to be in a hurry. His exact words? "We're not going to need novocaine - they're just surface cavities, it will be over in a second."

Seriously, dentists, listen up - THIS IS WHY PEOPLE HATE YOU. I'd rather go to the gynecologist, the DMV and the cell phone store EVERY DAY than have to do that again. It was one of the most painful things I've ever done, and I've got a pretty high tolerance for pain if I do say so myself. I went to the dentist two or three times in college, with about 3 cavities each time (that one promised me that he wouldn't even think about touching a drill till I couldn't feel a THING), and the worst visit came after college - 12 cavities in one visit. I broke a tooth in Boston and had even more when I went to the emergency dentist, and I haven't been back since, because I'm terrified to go. The memory of that pain is just too harsh.

Now I know I need to go, but I am...alas...uninsured. Dental crap is EXPENSIVE! I'm honestly thinking at this point that maybe I should hold out to win the lottery, then go and have them take off all of my teeth and put veneers in instead. But that will have to wait, because I've had a filling pop out, and over the past few months, the pain has gotten worse and worse. Today I popped five Advils to dull it. I'm hoping it will go away a bit, but to delay it, I've bought two things: the Sonicare toothbrush and a WaterPik. The Sonicare, well, you know. It makes you brush for two solid minutes, and it's supposedly the best thing you can buy. The WaterPik is to replace the flossing thing. I've probably overflossed and overtoothpicked myself into gum damage, and I heard that it works.

Since investigating this, however, I've noticed something - there's people on the internet who say you can "naturally" reverse cavities and stuff like that.

Anyone have any ideas? For the record - YES, I brush and floss and all that. I avoid acidic foods and drink coffee and soda through a straw as much as possible, and I avoid sodas for the most part.

moving woes...

I'm sorry I haven't posted in forEVER, but I've been...oh yeah, moving. It never seems to end. Even right now, I'm exhausted, typing this in bed, in fact, but I still feel like I didn't get enough done today. But overall, it's been a good week.

Some highlights:

I went to Meghan and Matt's to help Meghan hand out candy for Halloween (we only got about 10 trick-or-treaters, but it was fun) and we enjoyed seeing all the kids in their costumes. The cow was a popular one this year, and Owen was, in fact, the cutest cow. Caroline/Calamity Jane was adorable as well. Meghan and I sat on the stoop and caught up on the latest Mollytales, and Meghan got me to try her favorite candy. I NEVER thought anyone liked this stuff, but you know that orange and black wrapped taffy of unknown origin that everyone ends up having in their treat bag? Yes, you can thank Meghan. She is, perhaps, their strongest ally. It wasn't bad, I would probably eat it if my teeth weren't so awful already - it will pull your fillings out, it's STRONG taffy!

I did not dress up for halloween, but my cousin and I decided to go out on the town on Saturday to see our new town. We went out in NoDa (kind of a little artsy district, it's really cute) and had a few beers, where I saw what our Dawgs did. We're not talking about that one. We had fun, but we soon realized that after a hard weekend of moving, we just wanted to put on sweatpants, drink some boxed wine, and snuggle up with doggies over movies. After that, I talked to ... for a while (oh shut up, like y'all didn't already know, but send me an email if you don't), he's in Italy on business for a couple weeks and I had promised him a drunk dial. Thank God for international calling plans that his company pays for! I'm so jealous of him, he's enjoying Rome all by himself, living in the Trastevere for a few weeks, and just walking around the Collosseum for funsies. Wish he was here, but man, I wish I was there too! Thank God I can't find my passport these days, because I'd probably blow my last few hundred dollars on a trip over there to visit him if I could!

Today, I had a complete mollymoment. It was awful. I nearly cried, but it's hysterically funny now. My mom came to visit for a short time this weekend and stayed with her friend Sue. Coincidentally, Sue and my mom pledged DG together, so they're just two characters around each other. Sue's probably my other mother if I've ever had one. Anyway, Mom and Sue went to the Gaffney outlets and called me on Saturday to tell me that Pottery Barn was having this huge furniture sale. I am currently in need of a bed, as I can NOT handle sleeping on a full-size anymore. I want an iron bed, but don't really care if I have to sleep on a regular old frame. Mom said that they were taking 40% off the lowest marked price, which sounded great. So I trekked down to Gaffney (about an hour from Charlotte) this afternoon to check it out. They had some good deals, but I decided to wait and think on it. On my way out, I glanced in at Bath and Body Works, which was selling all that smelly stuff for $2 a pop or so. I got a couple of things, got to the front of the line, pulled out my wallet...

and noticed that the card was expired. I had been sent a new card recently, but hadn't cut up the old one yet. In my rush out the door, I had grabbed the old card. No big deal, I thought...I'd forego the lotion and go home. On the way to the card, it dawned on me. My gas gauge said I had 14 miles to empty. I was 60 miles from home.

OH. No.

My cousin Kate was halfway to Maryland to return her Dad's truck to him. I thought of everyone I knew in Charlotte. I didn't have any numbers for those who I knew were in town. Meghan, you might have killed me, but I would have called you had I had your number! All I needed was five dollars, and I had about thirty-seven cents. Thanks to the fact that I had cleaned out my car, I didn't have a checkbook or any other money. I called my mom, praying that she was still in the area. She was a bit north of Charlotte, but she said she'd call her friend Sue. I got off the phone with her and sat for a bit, and my mom called back and said Sue was coming. I definitely felt awful about it - she was about 45 minutes away. I dug through my purse again, and found my Hail Mary pass - a debit card from an account I thought I had closed back in Pennsylvania. I thought it was worth a shot, so I swiped it in the gas machine. It worked. I may get an overdraft charge, but I don't care. I pumped $20 worth of gas and took off home.

Yes, I cut up the old cards and stuck the correct one in my wallet. And I hid a bit of cash in my car in case it happens again.