AT&T Wireless has driven me to fits of rage and hypertension.

My friend Meghan recently posted about why Sears was her LEAST favorite company. I have to say, I was rather disappointed to hear of such service, especially since I know that while Meghan might stand up for herself when she's inconvenienced, she's very laid-back about the fact that "stuff happens". She was a sales rep once and knows that it's not the actual PROBLEM sometimes - the delay in delivery, the defective product, etc. It's how the company responds to it. The American public didn't get angry that Katrina happened (well, I'm kinda peeved that we invested so much in a city that was bound for destruction anyway, but whatever), we got angry at the government because they didn't respond to the problem in a manner that indicated they were aware that thousands of people were thirsty, hungry, trapped and dying.

I was disappointed in Sears because Sears has built a reputation on...well, their reputation. Sears started as a mail-order company that promised quality merchandise at a fair price and service that ensured the customer's satisfaction. The merchandise is still great - I'd venture to say that Craftsman tools are the best. Fair price, check - they've kept that up fine. But somewhere along the technology-enhanced way, they lost the third part of that. Meghan tells her blog audience, and suddenly, I'm hesitant about shopping with Sears myself. If you, as a business, can not respond to a customer problem in a satisfactory manner - which, in my estimation, might have been accomplished with a phone call early on that said "we're running way behind schedule, and we're getting there as fast as we can, but it might be really late - would you like to reschedule or would you like us to call you when we're nearby?" In her case, as well as the one I've got, a lot would have been accomplished if they'd just say "I'm sorry, we screwed up. We'll make it better, and we'll learn from this in the future, because we care about your experience."

My story?

AT&T, it is no wonder your company is a mere shell of what it used to be.

I got a great deal back in November to switch to AT&T wireless. I got a free Blackberry Curve (refurbished - just as good in my experience, I usually can't notice one difference between a new product and a refurbished) and they beat the price I had been paying at T-Mobile. T-Mobile had ZERO service at my home in Virginia, so I went with AT&T.

First of all, "network with the fewest dropped calls"? Bull-freaking-sheet. But that's neither here nor there.

About three weeks ago, I noticed a little hairline split in the ring around the Blackberry's trackball. I could have sworn it was there when I got the phone, and it seemed fine. Two days later, the ring fell off, as did the trackball. I couldn't scroll through anything without the trackball, but if I stuck the trackball back in, it would work, I just had to be careful and hold on to the trackball. I went into my AT&T store, hoping the techs could repair my phone by replacing that tiny little ring, which could then hold the trackball into the unit. They couldn't do it there, but the sales rep looked up my account and noted that it was still under warranty. He gives me a 1-800 number. I finally had the time the other day to call in to the warranty department.

I've spent 10-15 minutes waiting for a representative. One finally picks up. I describe the problem - I can not use the phone to do anything that requires scrolling, meaning email, internet, or looking up contacts in the address book. As contacts must be manually to the SIM card, I can't add anything to my SIM card either. I need them to send me a replacement ring and trackball (the trackball has disappeared by this point) and tell them this very politely.

AT&T Rep: "Well, let me see what I can do, I'm going to find an option that's 'in the best interest of you as a customer'"

This sounds dangerous. Well, not dangerous. Expensive.

Me: "can you just send me a replacement part?"

Rep: "we can't do that, we inspect the unit for physical damage and liquid damage, and if we find either of those, you'll be charged a fee for repair."

Me: "what's the cost of repair?"

Rep: "$349."

Me: "Isn't that how much the whole PHONE COSTS?"

Rep: "yes ma'am."

Me: "well, what's the definition of 'physical damage'?"

Rep: "if the product is physically damaged."

No kidding, idiot.

Me: "well, a warranty is an insurance policy. If you look in the back of the policy, it will define 'physical damage'"

Rep: "oh yes. OK, here it is - if there's pieces broken or missing, it's physical damage."

Me: "but it's a TEN CENT PIECE OF PLASTIC."

Rep: "I'm sorry ma'am. If you'd like, I can give you the address to send it to our repair center, it will take about 8-10 business days."

Me:"wait, in the meantime I have NO PHONE? I am self-employed - I CAN NOT go without my phone for ten days. And my blood pressure is SOARING right now because I am NOT paying $349 for you to replace a ten cent part. And by the way, what the H-E-double hockeysticks DOES that warranty cover?"

Rep: "I'm sorry ma'am, that's the rules. I don't know what exactly it covers but mainly like if it doesn't work or freezes up"

Me: "So wait. I can get a NEW phone for $349. Heck, I can get an iPhone for $199. DO YOU SEE THE STUPIDITY IN THIS?"

Rep: "I'm trying to look out for you as a consumer. It's 8-10 days, but it could be sooner."

Me: "Wait. I'm sitting here looking at my contract. It says I can QUIT my contract for about $145. Then I can go into Verizon, get a FREE phone, and transfer everything...why in the world would you want me to do that? Furthermore, I could go in and get a new iPhone for $199, an arguably BETTER phone - and manage to save $150 in the process, when all you have to do is replace a TEN CENT PIECE. Let me get this straight, do you REALLY want me to do this? Because I have no problem going straight to Verizon, I'd love an iPhone but I'm NOT going to continue with AT&T if this is the kind of asinine policy that you're going to have with me."

Rep: "hold on, let me talk to my boss."

Yeah, you talk to that boss. In the meantime, I'm about to burst a blood vessel. Rep comes back.

Rep: "I can authorize a swap-out for a new phone of the same kind. We're sending you a new one in the mail, just drop the old one in the mail when you transfer information and activate the new one."

THANK YOU. Did you HAVE to give me an aneurysm? Why do you even have that "policy" in the first place? Why can't you charge $20 or so to fix my phone, put a new ten cent piece and keep the $19.90 as a profit? I mean really, why is the "cost of repair" the same as "cost new"? Especially when these phones are literally worth about ten dollars in circuit boards and plastic. In my opinion, any of this could have been prevented with a simple "sure, lets swap it out." Did I have to show rage in order to get what any sane person would expect? Seems like they have to make you cry before they give you any sort of leeway.