Everybody dies famous in a small town...

I'm waiting for some pasta to boil right now - my mom conned me into attempting cooking - so if I get distracted by this and you hear of some crazy house fire in Virginia, tell the firemen to rescue the dogs.

I went to the lake last night, stayed there today and attempted to get a tan with a couple of friends that came over. No real color that I can see. I miss the days when I could afford the tanning bed, although I'm desperately trying to accept my pale natural self. Honestly, I just feel better with a tan, mentally and physically. I got a cowboy hat for a reason the other day - I want to start making myself wear a sun hat in the sun instead of frying myself in the face as well. Yes, that's right, cancer doesn't scare me (just ask the pack of Parliament Lights that comes out on occasion) but WRINKLES - well, when you start screwing with vanity, I listen. So I look slightly trampy laying out in a bikini and a cowboy hat. It's a sweet hat, though, so I don't mind. When I find my camera cord I'll post the pictures.

In case people are wondering, yes, I'm considering moving back to Lynchburg. I moved to Philly for a reason - I had a job there in insurance. While I still have a job there, it's more or less something that travels with me, so I have nothing really tying me to the area anymore. I don't want to raise kids up north (IF I ever have them, and the way things are in this dating market, I wouldn't place a bet in Vegas on kids happening for me), and my roommate will be buying a house and moving to Delaware in the fall. So I will most likely have to move SOMEWHERE. Lynchburg is a better option than it used to be, both because I've gotten older and the city has gotten bigger. So I end up wrestling with the idea. On one hand, it's a slower way of life, much cheaper, lots of family here, and has an art community that I could carve my way into fairly easily through connections. BUT. Last night on the lake it was so quiet I got genuinely creeped out. I got worried that if I go here there's going to be very few people here my age and I'll end up some crazy old lady with 4,000 cats. I'm afraid that I'll end up a hermit. I'm too pretty to end up like that, I'm sorry, but I am. And I'm allergic to cats.

Who knows. My grandmother and dad are all on the convince-Molly-to-come-home bandwagon, and my mom is basically supportive of whatever I want to do. I think it just sort of sucks to pick a place to move to when you don't have like an actual excuse to move there, be it a job, a guy, or for school. No one just picks out Sheboygan and says "let's go!"

I don't know, I think I'm looking for a reason. A sign. An Omen. Someone send me one.