My feet are killing me after working only half my jobs...and I wore flats today.

Melissa, I tip my hat to you, I don't know how you do it.

I've been temping full-time at a firm in Charlotte to make ends meet - 'scuse me, bring the ends a bit closer together - and I'm physically exhausted. And I've still got stuff for my real job(s) to do. I need to make a dent in my taxes for 2008, I need to ship a painting, I need to get back to my long-neglected editor (who THANK GOD I haven't taken an advance from on writing stuff, else I'd be up Shite Creek without a proverbial paddle), I need to fill out the paperwork for establishing a business in North Carolina, prime canvas, sort through a mound of sketches, ship something I sold on Amazon, finish client gifts that are obviously NOT getting to them before Christmas and as always, I need to clean the ever-living crap out of my studio. Notice I haven't even begun to mention actual artwork that needs to just get DONE. I also have an absurd number of tasks that I just have to do for living as well - paying bills, cleaning the house, getting ready for my boyfriend to come visit, scheduling a doctor's appointment...the list is endless.

I went into business for myself full-time rather quickly. I had been working myself to the bone in the corporate world and was painting in my spare time. Towards the end, I simply had no spare time in which to actually paint because of said working to said bone...for my own sanity, it's way better that things worked out the way they did. As we all know, a 9 to 5 gig, in many of our careers, simply isn't just a 9 to 5 thing. It's blackberries going off at 3 am needing urgent action, working lunch with an emphasis on the first word of that phrase, 200 emails a day that "just need five minutes of your time" (you do the math), and daily panic attacks given the thought of staying in the job for five more years. Oh, wait, that last one might just be me. Conversely, as Drena will attest, running your own business doesn't exactly give you any less work hassle. In fact, you go from one boss to an infinite number of them - every single one of your customers.

I've always compared running your own business to the mindset of college. No, I don't mean where you get to show up for class in your sweats reeking of Jack Daniels and last night's smoke-filled bar. I'm talking about that feeling that I associate with college where no matter how far ahead you are in your work, you always have this sinking feeling when you take some time for non-work activities that you could and should be doing something else to get ahead. Even if it's just studying or reviewing the strategy for the coming months, there's never a shortage of work to be done.

I'm lucky enough that I'm temping at a place that supposedly strikes a balance for their employees in the work-life struggle, but I have to be honest - half of the reason I left at 5 today is because I will NOT break my back for them when I'm being paid hourly. They told me to keep it at an 8-hour day, and I'm holding them to that. There's a chance they might want me to stay on longer - which I'm not opposed to, the money is good to have and I have a transmission to fix, dagnammit. I know that if I need the gig any longer, I have to show them the value of me being there, which I believe I'm doing. I haven't turned down one iota of work, and when I'm there, I work eight hours. I'm sorting through the mountain of destruction that has been caused by countless useless temps before me, and believe me when I say that they absolutely need someone doing what I'm doing. Without getting too revealing, I don't believe they can be legally compliant without my project getting done soon. They seem to realize that, however - that I'm actually coming cheap, relatively speaking. Most of what I'm just picking up and running with is stuff that a majority of large corporations hire high-priced consultants to do. That being said, I've adjusted to it with only a week or two of intense bitching about being back in the corporate world.

Obviously, however, I can't let what I REALLY want to do fall to the wayside. I'm committed to still plugging in a full-time effort to my own business, because if I don't, I'll just fall back into the "well, the money's good..." trap. Just today, I got into work at 8 am the day after Christmas, and I spent 45 minutes my lunch hour on the phone with a gallery, only to be finally told that they've got no funding and no room for me "in the foreseeable future". In my industry, this means one of two things: either they hate your stuff or they're about five seconds away from closing up shop in our lovely economy. Either way, it's no skin off my back - rejection is definitely part of the game - but as a result...I had coffee for lunch. Now I remember why I weighed 93 lbs when I left the corporate world - I literally had no time to eat. I just got home and raced in to let the dogs out (Kate's in Maryland for Christmas, so I've got double dog duty all week), kicked off my shoes and stared at my pile of work for the art job...

...and instead I'm on here typing to y'all. Seriously, Melissa, I don't know how you run your corporate career plus your business on the side, at least not without the help of serious narcotics. Drena, I know you're only a week or two into motherhood, but I don't know how you run your business with a baby either - I feel like I could feasibly do a corporate gig while being a mom, if needed (disclaimer: yes, I know it's hard and impossible to run both perfectly regardless) however running your own business - where there's really no maternity leave without just forgoing the income - just seems so overwhelming that I know I'll probably have to have an enormous amount saved to get through those years without inflicting serious harm on myself or others. If I ever contemplate doing all of this - the self-employed plus a full-time thing - with actual children in tow, someone call Child Services as soon as I'm pregnant. There simply are not enough hours in the day, period.

That being said, I gotta go get some work done. I haven't even walked into the office, so to speak, at my "real job" today. So much for the "weekend".