I need to stop sleeping with my cousin.

WHAT? GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. I'm from VIRGINIA, not WEST VIRGINIA. But now that I've gotten every really weird pervert out there stalking my page, I'll continue.

For the past week or so, I've been in Wilmington, Delaware, "helping" my cousin Kate pack up her stuff. By "helping", I mean "sitting around while Kate packs herself", because Kate is VERY particular about how this place gets packed up, and my carefree "every box is marked MISC" style of packing doesn't interest her. So when I ask what I can do, she says "sit there and look pretty." Done.

Since Kate currently lives in a one-bedroom in Wilmy with a couch that really isn't made for sleeping, I have been splitting Kate's bed with her. Any of you who have ever split a bed with me knows that I'm actually a pretty easy sleeper, save a few fights with the sheets in the middle of the night. I don't usually steal the blankets, and if you need me to push over for some room, I do so. I talk in my sleep a bit, but I don't snore.

This "good in bed" (mind out of the gutter again, please) trait must have come from my father's side, because Kate is NOTHING like this. So without further adieu, I present...the most prevalent traits in the modern day BED - HOG.

1. Stealing all the blankets.
When Kate rolls over to her side, she very adorably grabs a fistful of covers under her chin and rolls with them. So cute. Except for the fact that after she does it once, Molly's uncovered.

2. Molly fell off the bed.
Yes, you read that right. Thank GOD I'm the shrimp of the family, because two tall people probably could NOT fit in the Queen-sized bed. I start out most nights on my half of the bed, and as time progresses, my half gets smaller and smaller. If I'm lucky, at about 4 am, I usually wake up to discover that I'm teetering dreadfully close to the edge. If I'm not, I wake up at about 4:15 after hearing a thud of my body hitting the floor. Fortunately, at this point, the bed is just a mattress and box springs on the carpet, so it's not far to fall.

3. The snuggler.
My cousin is so stinkin' cute and loving, she hugs in her sleep. You who know me know that I'm not a big hugger, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm a snuggler in bed - with the right person/dog/stuffed animal. I don't, as a rule, snuggle female humans or anyone related to me. As I said, I'm from Virginia, not West Virginia. My cousin, however, instinctively snuggles whatever's in bed. Including her cousin. How exactly do you push your cousin/bestest friend off of you at 3 am without offending them? It's such a delicate balance. All I know is that she ain't never sharing a bed with my husband. For that matter, Mav, you're never allowed to either, because you do the same thing.

4. The crankiness.
If you wake certain people up from their slumber to avoid their subconscious advances, get some covers back or claim a postage-stamp-sized space on the bed, just take my advice...be careful. They may get violent or yell at you. Because in their mind, they have a natural and human right to snuggle whatever creature is in their bed, take all the room and leave said creature bruised and freezing.

I heart my cousin, but I'm SO looking forward to having my own bed again. In all seriousness, though, moving is going surprisingly well. We've got a few good men helping us out (yep, we brought in the Marines. Well, two in particular...) and we should be packed up and out the door on Sunday. No one's cried yet, and hopefully we should be in our new house on Monday.