The insanity of moving while single and on the tightest of all budgets...

I'd like to share my schedule for the next week:

1. Pack up a load of boxes/trashbags o' clothes/whatever in my car.
2. Take said load to my cousin Kate's house in Wilmington.
3. Rent a Steam Cleaner.
4. Steam Clean carpets in my room and studio.
5. Pick up U-haul trailer.
6. Figure out how to get U-haul trailer behind my car and tow said trailer to my house when South Street sidewalks are conveniently under construction.
7. Find parking for said trailer.
8. Find people who can load said trailer.
9. Get the heavy furniture downstairs with the help of said people.
10. Load trailer.
11. Clean house from top to bottom to maximize security deposit return.
12. Mail keys to landlord.
13. Drive trailer to Charlotte, NC - 563 miles.
14. Find people in Charlotte, NC to help me unload.
15. Find storage in Charlotte NC - we can't afford the pro-rated rent to move my crap in a week early, and I have nowhere to store it as I have to be out of my apartment this wednesday at the latest.
16. Unload stuff into storage.
17. Drop check off to realtor in Charlotte.
18. Register & insure car in NC.
19. Get NC drivers license.
20. Return trailer to U-Haul.
21. Drive immediately back to Wilmington.
22. Help Kate pack up her stuff and pick up my first car-load.
23. Drive with Kate + stuff + her truck + trailer + car back to Charlotte.
24. Find people to help unload Kate's stuff from her trailer.
25. Unload Kate's trailer.
26. Use Kate's trailer to return to my storage unit, load my stuff into said trailer.
27. Unload my stuff.
28. Unpack.
29. Find a job to pay for this expedition.

ALL OF THIS HAS TO BE DONE IN ONE WEEK. YES, ONE WEEK.

If I break down crying, freak out, bite your head off or die from exhaustion, please forgive me. My back already hurts, and I haven't even loaded anything yet.