You asked, Melissa...

Since we're getting into it, here we go.

A few things to know:
1. I am not voting this year. It's too late to register in North Carolina, and I won't be in Pennsylvania to vote there. So no matter what happens, don't blame me.
2. I'm disgusted with the way this campaign has been run - from both sides.
3. I am registered as a Republican. Not because I'm G-Dubs' biggest fan, but because I identify most with their stances on governmental issues.
4. I HATE that some people in this world think that if you view the world differently, it's because you're ignorant, stupid, misinformed, or a horrible person.
5. Fox News aside, I believe that the media is INCREDIBLY biased toward the Left. If you don't believe me, I'd invite you to sit in on ANY class in my alma mater, the Henry Grady School of Journalism, or any other Journalism school for that matter. Journalism School turns out Journalists, who work for the media.

Okay, so here we go, in order of what people have been saying on here, plus a few of my own.

Abortion:
I firmly believe in a woman's right to choose. A woman carries a far greater risk to her health by bringing any pregnancy to term than to terminate early, safely, and in the care of a well-trained physician and nurses. I love babies, but I don't think that I should be forced to carry ANY pregnancy to term, regardless of circumstances. To throw rape, incest and "the health of the mother" qualifiers into the equation simply clouds the issue - it is simply unfair to require a woman to expose her body to significant danger because a man made an equally bad decision. Notice I'm not bringing God or religion into this - why? Because I believe in the separation of church and state. I'm sorry, but God - and who's to say whose God we're talking about - has no place in governmental affairs. How can I reconcile this with a Republican registration? Simple - I believe that the government has NO place in this issue, thereby making the government smaller and even less intrusive, which is at the core of the platform. And besides - the idea that Roe v. Wade will be overturned is a pie-in-the-sky idea, at best, proposed by Moral Majority (sic) leaders that will, in my estimation, never happen. Stare Decisis reigns pretty supreme in our legal system, and the checks and balances we have in place are good enough for me to rule this as a non-issue. Decision: Neither candidate appeals to me on this issue alone. DRAW.

Healthcare
This is important to me. In January, I will be uninsured. If I were to get pregnant, that baby would be uninsured. My pre-existing conditions would mean that I have to spend at LEAST $500 a month out-of-pocket, should I pick up an individual plan - in addition to the exhorbitant premiums. I KNOW insurance. I went through policies with a fine-tooth comb for years and know virtually every trick in the book. The reality is that we are in a catch-22. The more profitable our insurance companies and medical system is, the better healthcare we get. The cheaper our premiums get, the more we move towards socialized healthcare, the more we have problems with long waiting periods, poor care and higher death rates. If you want an experimental miracle treatment, you will have to pay for it - either through your employer, through your taxes or out of pocket. I believe that adults choose these choices - if you choose not to work, you shouldn't get to access the same types of healthcare as those who work for it. However, I do not believe that children should suffer their parents' choices in this same manner. There are 6 million documented children with no access to affordable healthcare in the U.S., and I, for one, find this shameful of the richest nation on earth. Those children never asked to be born into a family that has no healthcare, and I don't think we should let a poor child die of something that could have been cured in a wealthier child. We're simply better than that.
So, what does that mean candidate-wise? I don't know. Frankly, it's a lesser of two evils. I think Hillary Clinton had a great plan. Had she been picked as Obama's running mate, I might have even driven BACK to PA to vote. But sadly, politics and braggadocio clouded that selection. I find numerous flaws on both candidate's plans, and have therefore declared this one a DRAW.

Taxes:
I think the government should be OUT OF MY LIFE. I think if you want to waste some money, give it to the government. I can't even begin to tell you the number of people I've talked to who have worked for or in government that laugh at the gross economic inefficiencies of our government, from local municipalities all the way up to the White House. I think we should be taxing ALL Americans less and holding all levels of government responsible for their spending. Furthermore, I already see that the top 5% of Americans pay roughly 90% of our tax revenue or something like that. Making them pay more doesn't seem like it's going to help matters, it's only going to perpetuate the same problems. I, for one, support the fair tax, but no major candidate seems to be leaning this way. McCain seems most close to my ideals, though, so I'm declaring ADVANTAGE: McCAIN.

The Economy:
I agree with Meghan: the bailout was necessary. One of the scariest professions in Insurance is Catastrophic Forecasting, and let me tell you something: they can handle FIVE Katrinas, back to back. They CAN'T handle something like AIG collapsing without assistance. The government did the right thing, given the circumstances. As for what got us here: the mortgage crisis...you know what I think about it. Don't get a loan you can't afford to pay back. Read the fine print of that mortgage document, and if you don't understand it, hire someone who can. I like that McCain is holding the borrowers responsible as well, but we all know that neither Republicans nor Democrats got us into this situation singlehandedly. DRAW.

Okay I've got to unpack some more, so I'll do more of this later.

GOD I'm glad I'm not voting.

I finally got internet...

But I'm a little too tired to respond to seven things or give my political views. I WILL do that tomorrow. I'm just in a huge unpacking MESS and don't even have a bed yet. Meghan, know a REALLY cheap place to buy a mattress in this city?

I am thankful for:

1. This town sells WINE in TARGET. I'm NOT EFFING KIDDING. No wonder people love it here.
2. Bojangles is on every corner. I'm not actually thankful for it since I've never eaten at one, but hey, it's EVERYWHERE.
3. Talladega Nights. I bought it on iTunes and I hafta say...I'm Ricky Bobby, and if you don't chew Big Red, then F**k you.
4. A big strong handsome strapping man named Dan. That's all I have to say about that. No, but SERIOUSLY.
5. My flannel blanket that Cara made me three years ago. I love it, honey. Please come play down here.

I need to stop sleeping with my cousin.

WHAT? GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. I'm from VIRGINIA, not WEST VIRGINIA. But now that I've gotten every really weird pervert out there stalking my page, I'll continue.

For the past week or so, I've been in Wilmington, Delaware, "helping" my cousin Kate pack up her stuff. By "helping", I mean "sitting around while Kate packs herself", because Kate is VERY particular about how this place gets packed up, and my carefree "every box is marked MISC" style of packing doesn't interest her. So when I ask what I can do, she says "sit there and look pretty." Done.

Since Kate currently lives in a one-bedroom in Wilmy with a couch that really isn't made for sleeping, I have been splitting Kate's bed with her. Any of you who have ever split a bed with me knows that I'm actually a pretty easy sleeper, save a few fights with the sheets in the middle of the night. I don't usually steal the blankets, and if you need me to push over for some room, I do so. I talk in my sleep a bit, but I don't snore.

This "good in bed" (mind out of the gutter again, please) trait must have come from my father's side, because Kate is NOTHING like this. So without further adieu, I present...the most prevalent traits in the modern day BED - HOG.

1. Stealing all the blankets.
When Kate rolls over to her side, she very adorably grabs a fistful of covers under her chin and rolls with them. So cute. Except for the fact that after she does it once, Molly's uncovered.

2. Molly fell off the bed.
Yes, you read that right. Thank GOD I'm the shrimp of the family, because two tall people probably could NOT fit in the Queen-sized bed. I start out most nights on my half of the bed, and as time progresses, my half gets smaller and smaller. If I'm lucky, at about 4 am, I usually wake up to discover that I'm teetering dreadfully close to the edge. If I'm not, I wake up at about 4:15 after hearing a thud of my body hitting the floor. Fortunately, at this point, the bed is just a mattress and box springs on the carpet, so it's not far to fall.

3. The snuggler.
My cousin is so stinkin' cute and loving, she hugs in her sleep. You who know me know that I'm not a big hugger, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm a snuggler in bed - with the right person/dog/stuffed animal. I don't, as a rule, snuggle female humans or anyone related to me. As I said, I'm from Virginia, not West Virginia. My cousin, however, instinctively snuggles whatever's in bed. Including her cousin. How exactly do you push your cousin/bestest friend off of you at 3 am without offending them? It's such a delicate balance. All I know is that she ain't never sharing a bed with my husband. For that matter, Mav, you're never allowed to either, because you do the same thing.

4. The crankiness.
If you wake certain people up from their slumber to avoid their subconscious advances, get some covers back or claim a postage-stamp-sized space on the bed, just take my advice...be careful. They may get violent or yell at you. Because in their mind, they have a natural and human right to snuggle whatever creature is in their bed, take all the room and leave said creature bruised and freezing.

I heart my cousin, but I'm SO looking forward to having my own bed again. In all seriousness, though, moving is going surprisingly well. We've got a few good men helping us out (yep, we brought in the Marines. Well, two in particular...) and we should be packed up and out the door on Sunday. No one's cried yet, and hopefully we should be in our new house on Monday.

Statistical Analysis 101

I know I make a typographical error every now and then, so I can forgive a few mistakes in the wonderful world of journalism. Statistics, however, are my little pet peeve. I hate it when writers use statistics to say something that the data isn't really revealing.

Case in point:

I was watching the news this morning and a story came on about wounded Iraq war veterans and how the VA is struggling to cope with the resulting rise in prescription painkiller addictions. This is in no way meant to be any commentary - one way or another - on the war. I'm not getting started on that, because I usually end up talking around people in circles. Don't get me wrong, I don't doubt that the idea of the story was correct - addiction to pain medicine is probably a very real thing among the wounded veterans. But here's the quote the very respected news organization used:

"Since the beginning of the war, prescriptions for narcotic painkillers have risen 600% among the military."

I'm no General, and I'm no Doctor, but I'd imagine that statistic is due to the fact that soldiers don't tend to get blown up and hurt as much in peacetime. Just a thought. I'd like to know how I can apply for a statistical analysis job where I'm praised for concluding that prescriptions for pain go up when rates of patients getting hurt goes up.

Go Phillies, I guess.

I said once when I moved to Philly that I'm a good-luck charm for sports teams. Every year I lived in Georgia, the Braves won their division, and the Falcons went to the Superbowl once. The Hawks and Thrashers were still...well, the Hawks and Thrashers, but that's still a pretty good record. When I moved to Boston, the Patriots won two Superbowls and the Red Sox broke an 86-year-old curse and finally won the World Series. There was dancing in the streets, old men cried, babies laughed and there was a certified spike in births exactly nine months after the self-proclaimed team of Idiots brought down the Curse of the Bambino.

When I moved to Philadelphia, I didn't really care if my luck followed me. I'm NOT an Eagles fan (I still love my Patriots), I don't care for basketball, and I could take or leave the Flyers and the Phillies. Last year when the Phillies won their division, there was massive celebration, and I called it - they celebrated WAY too early. They were swept in the first round of the playoffs.

This year, I didn't even care. The Eagles, as everyone knows, are destined to another bad season, and my last experience with the Phillies was attending Dollar-Dog Night right after I got dumped from Iraq last year. I spent 7 innings crying. That Tom Hanks is a liar - there IS crying in baseball. I avoided Citizens Bank Park like the plague, and watched MAYBE an inning of the Phillies. I kept hearing "the Phillies are in first place" and would basically say "great, I'm sure they'll choke." I was resigned to moving to Charlotte, and didn't care what my almost-former-city's team did.

My luck still followed me, though - the Phillies have made it to the World Series. A very nice lifelong Phillies fan helped me with my move out of my apartment and I told him the other day that I would root for the Phillies as long as they were not playing the Red Sox. I have to say, I was a little nervous about this - if Boston and Philly were to play in the World Series, it might get ugly. I could bite my tongue, but neither city is known for doing so, especially when it comes to sports. Fortunately for him, the Red Sox lost to the Rays in game 7. While I'm partial to the Sox and do not claim to be a part of the Phillies nation other than having lived there for three years, I'll root for the Phillies, in keeping with my promise. And I'm kind of glad that I'm not living on South Street now - the Phillies winning the World Series may be enough to drive a person insane. Given the number of chubby dudes wearing jean shorts and Phillies jerseys that would flood the area shouting E-A-G-L-E-S (yes, I know - wrong team - but they cheer for the Eagles when ANYTHING happens), Crabby Molly would have been on high alert.

Simply because it's a city desperate for some sort of miracle, and because Tampa Bay isn't really even a CITY, for crying out loud...go Phils.

Why Kate's dog reminds me of Golem from Lord of the Rings

The insanity of moving while single and on the tightest of all budgets...

I'd like to share my schedule for the next week:

1. Pack up a load of boxes/trashbags o' clothes/whatever in my car.
2. Take said load to my cousin Kate's house in Wilmington.
3. Rent a Steam Cleaner.
4. Steam Clean carpets in my room and studio.
5. Pick up U-haul trailer.
6. Figure out how to get U-haul trailer behind my car and tow said trailer to my house when South Street sidewalks are conveniently under construction.
7. Find parking for said trailer.
8. Find people who can load said trailer.
9. Get the heavy furniture downstairs with the help of said people.
10. Load trailer.
11. Clean house from top to bottom to maximize security deposit return.
12. Mail keys to landlord.
13. Drive trailer to Charlotte, NC - 563 miles.
14. Find people in Charlotte, NC to help me unload.
15. Find storage in Charlotte NC - we can't afford the pro-rated rent to move my crap in a week early, and I have nowhere to store it as I have to be out of my apartment this wednesday at the latest.
16. Unload stuff into storage.
17. Drop check off to realtor in Charlotte.
18. Register & insure car in NC.
19. Get NC drivers license.
20. Return trailer to U-Haul.
21. Drive immediately back to Wilmington.
22. Help Kate pack up her stuff and pick up my first car-load.
23. Drive with Kate + stuff + her truck + trailer + car back to Charlotte.
24. Find people to help unload Kate's stuff from her trailer.
25. Unload Kate's trailer.
26. Use Kate's trailer to return to my storage unit, load my stuff into said trailer.
27. Unload my stuff.
28. Unpack.
29. Find a job to pay for this expedition.

ALL OF THIS HAS TO BE DONE IN ONE WEEK. YES, ONE WEEK.

If I break down crying, freak out, bite your head off or die from exhaustion, please forgive me. My back already hurts, and I haven't even loaded anything yet.

Really need help now!

So now I'm freaking out. When I didn't have a place to live, any source of income, any idea of where I would be living, I was cool as a cucumber. I now have a house, a lease, a fenced-in yard, and even a U-Haul reservation...

And I feel a panic attack just brewing.

I have to pick up my trailer on October 13, load it, drive it down to Charlotte, unload it. Sound easy? That's a negative, ghostrider. First, I live on a ONE WAY STREET. Parking is LIMITED, at best. I have two experiences with trailers - one, where I towed a boat that fishtailed and pulled me off the road. Two, where the infamous Eric Forsyth jacknifed the trailer/truck on the move from Atlanta. Oh, and three, where the guy hired to drive my truck (I refused to do so, because I'd kill myself doing it) blew out a tire while towing a trailer to Philadelphia from Virginia. I'm terrified of towing. I can't turn corners, and I can't reverse. Yet I've got to somehow get this sucker backed up to my door. My house is surrounded by one lane streets.
I can handle the actual HIGHWAY, but Philly? I'm seriously already in tears.

That and my house is just NEVER going to be packed. I have THREE days. Oh, and I have no idea how I'm going to even THINK about getting it unloaded in Charlotte.

Please pardon me while I go have a panic attack.

Charlotte, part 2

I'll open this up with one question. What do all of the following have in common?

-John F. Kennedy, Jr (moment of silence because that man was SO good-looking)
-Hillary Clinton
-California Gov. Jerry Brown
-New York Gov. George Pataki's daughter
-Dean of Stanford Law Kathleen Sullivan
-California Gov. Pete Wilson

Answer: they all failed their bar exams at least once.

Kate woke up really early on Wednesday and started pacing the floor like crazy. The bar exam results from Delaware came out that day, and she was desperately trying to find out if she passed or not. Kate's VERY smart and a HUGE overachiever. She was NINTH in her law school class, never got below a B in law school, interned for the Delaware Supreme Court, all kinds of smart. But she was worried sick, and even went on a run to let some stress out. She couldn't even check it herself, she was so scared, so she had her ex-boyfriend check and call her with the results. Finally, the phone rang...

I thought he was joking. But no, she alarmingly didn't pass. Of course, she started crying. I'd be crying even if I passed. In the long run, no, it didn't matter if she passed, because she'll still have to take the North Carolina Bar as well, and she definitely wanted to leave Delaware behind. But as the rest of you overachievers know, it just SUCKS when you try and work really hard at something, then it doesn't work out. I took Kate out for a drink and shopping at the Mall, then we headed for Lynchburg. I sent my Lynchburg friends a text message that basically said "hi, Kate didn't pass the bar and she can't sit at home in Lynchburg - what are you going to do to help with this???"

Needless to say, they're great in a pinch. My friend Chris and, of all people, my ex-boyfriend, (he's a friend of Kate's as well), came out with us and helped drown sorrows. Jack Daniels' stock undoubtedly soared the next day. We had a great time (well, the hangover hurt a bit) and I'm very thankful my friends were there to help in making her feel better.

It'll be a great chapter in her biography.

Charlotte!

So first, an update...Molly and Kate are moving....

to Charlotte!

I'm so glad to have it decided. We decided on there for a few different reasons, the largest of which is the low cost of living, the proximity to our hometowns (she's from lower Delaware, I'm from Lynchburg) and the job/career prospects for both of us. Anyway, we just got back from a few days in Virginia and Charlotte, a whirlwind of a trip. We left on Sunday, after both of us had gone out the night before. We had one car, and figuring out who drives first with a hangover is quite a chore. We stayed overnight in Lynchburg with my mom, who thankfully agreed to watch Colonel Mustard and Kate's dog, Bambi. We were so exhausted, we crashed right in the middle of watching the Sex and the City movie.

The next morning, we pulled out of Lynchburg a little late (we're not known for punctuality, I suppose), driving quite slowly down to Charlotte. Kate's iPod wasn't really cooperating, and we started talking about how we missed Alabama's Greatest Hits. So we stopped at the Wal-Mart in Greensboro and bought it and took a tour of the first Super Wally World Kate had ever seen, and the first I had seen in six years. An hour later, we realize that we're wasting the day away, and truck it down to Charlotte. We realized that we had neither a map of Charlotte, directions to half the houses we were looking at on craigslist, nor any sort of guidance on what areas to avoid. We called Meghan and Matt's friend Eric, and he advised us to just go to his house and he'd take us around to help us. We went to one, which seemed to fit all our criteria, but didn't have as much of that "neighborhood" feel - it was on a bit of a busy road, and it backed up to a park and bordered a more industrial area. He took us around the corner to the Plaza-Midwood area and recommended the area, as it has a lot of younger people such as ourselves, either single or married with no kids. We loved the area, and liked our first house a little more because it was right near this area, as well as the NoDa area, as its the home of the upcoming arts scene. We then toured one other house, which, although gorgeous on the inside (The closets were so big, I think the exact word I used was "closet porn"), was way more out in the middle of the suburbs than we wanted to be. We set up some appointments with that particular realtor for the next day and decided to go get something to eat, as the three of us were getting rather cranky off of low blood sugar levels.

That night, Kate and Eric and I went out for dinner, then back for drinks at his house, which turned into a rousing game of the symbol of the unemployment that plagues the three of us - Guitar Hero. Kate and I drained his house dry of bourbon, then she and I hit the hay. We got up early-ish and researched a little, then went off for lunch with....Holbrooks! Well, Meghan and Caroline and Owen. They had both gotten so big since I saw them - only a couple months ago! Owen was full-on RUNNING around and didn't look so baby-like anymore, his hair came in so quickly. He's going to be HUGE - he's only 18 months and he's taller than my cousin Lauren's daughter Lily. Caroline says things that shocks me in how easily she understands things and forms ideas now. So cute! We went out to check out another house after that, and were commenting that we hadn't seen any REAL bad areas since we had come to Charlotte. Well, we found them. Or we at least found where strip malls go to die. The house was pretty from the exterior, but was on a corner of a busy street with no fence (we want the dogs to be safe). We then walked in and surmised that the entire marijuana trade of Charlotte had been run through this house - it REEKED of smoke, both tobacco and wacky-tobacco. We wanted to run away screaming.

Finally, we decided to go with the first house. It was just too good to pass up - a fenced-in yard, nearby everything, three bedrooms (so I get a studio!), two bathrooms, granite counters, stainless steel appliances, a deck, a security system, hardwood floors, subway tiles in the bathroom and all for HALF of what I was paying in Philadelphia. We had to wait to see if we were approved, so we stayed overnight, probably driving Eric insane. He went to a debate-watching party (as Meghan would say, only Eric...) and Kate and I watched girl TV and made him Oatmeal cookies to say thank you for helping us. Kate and I also met up with my friends from high school, Courtney and Martha, who were nice enough to invite us to join their little dinner club that night. We had lots of fun meeting their friends, and Court and Martha are going to be right around the corner from us. We're so excited!

And then there was Wednesday....I'll start this on a new post, because it's going to make this too long. But to make a long story short here - we're moving to Charlotte!

Political types, please shut up

The 2008 election has produced an astronomical number of people who only seem to have one purpose in life: professing their hate for McCain, Obama, Palin and/or Biden.

Really. Please everyone, shut up. You can tell people the positive attributes of whomever you'd like, but really, at this point, you only look DUMB when you're sitting there screaming how much you loathe a particular candidate.

Marysia Charleston...beautiful stuff!

I wanted to share this with all y'all...because really, Southern women are dying for an excuse to shop. You can find her line at specialty boutiques in the South, and you're going to see more and more of them popping up in all kinds of places. I'm recommending this for two reasons - one, I love it, and I appreciate good design, and two, because she's a fantastically great person that reminds me so much of Laura. My dear cousin Laura, as many of you know, died tragically in a car accident on Christmas Eve of 2003. If you've ever seen my one and only tattoo, you know it's for her. At Laura's funeral, her lovely friend Marysia came up to me and introduced herself. Marysia, a girl for whom the adjective "willowy" was invented, is a beautiful icy Eastern European blonde, has an amazing story of meeting and marrying her husband. They moved to LA, then Marysia interned in New York, and finally they settled in Charleston SC with their adorable baby girl, Elle - little Laura shoutout if you know the tattoo! Marysia has kept up with Kate and me over the years - Kate just got back from visiting her. Marysia's a total doll, and has found AMAZING success with her own line of swimwear based out of Charleston, SC.

Oh, and Marysia and Nate's home has been featured in Charleston Magazine, and it's effing gorgeous. Marysia, if you'd ever like someone to come and be Elle-nanny and art-maker, consider the position filled. Check out the article - I want just one of those vintage surfboards so I can fashion a long art table out of it. To all my surfer friends, no, I'd never HURT a board, I'd just build around it. Jeez.

How can Charlotte be the QUEEN city...

If there's no H&M?

Every queen I know LOVES that store. Seriously, Charlotte, this is terrifying me. You need to get an H&M. And an IKEA.

I consider this bordering on a human rights violation.