Fleas.

I haven't posted about this because I've been secretly hoping that EVERY trick we try will just work so I can tell the whole story from beginning to end. But unfortunately, I can't.

BECAUSE IT WON'T END.

About 3 weeks ago, while at work, I got a rather frantic call from my cousin. She found fleas on her dog. The Colonel gets Frontline religiously, as my hometown is famous for ticks, and by my calculations, he wasn't even due for another week, so obviously I was a little surprised. Colonel Mustard seemed to be okay, but she was going to give both of them a flea bath to keep on the safe side. She went to Target, got drops for her dog as well as the Colonel, some flea shampoo, some home spray and some carpet flea-killer powder. Two hours later, she told me that while she was bathing him, fleas were just pouring off of him. We spent two solid days disinfecting the house, and we thought we'd be okay after that.

Wrong. Within three days, they were back. With a vengeance. We started getting bit, and the dogs weren't even phased by the treatments. Dan was here by then, so he and I took the Colonel to PetSmart and asked some advice of the staff. They recommended Frontline, and told me that the drops that my cousin had bought are basically useless. They didn't sell Frontline at PetSmart, so we bought the stuff that the girl recommended to at least help him out a little. Didn't even touch the buggers. I used the doggie spray, only to discover that Colonel Mustard does NOT like it. The next day, Dan bought the Colonel some Frontline (it's now available without a vet visit in North Carolina, thank GOD), and we tried another round of treatment.

SERIOUSLY, SHOULDN'T THIS BE OVER BY NOW?

Nope. Two weeks after the Frontline dose, I had to give him another. Tonight, I completely COVERED my bedding, my carpets, and everything else that fleabag may have touched with the home spray again, as well as washed everything I could find in scalding hot water and bleach. This weekend, we're going to bug-bomb the house (I don't know WHAT we're going to do for six hours with two dogs to stay out of the house), as well as treat the lawn. I've heard from many sources that the yard is pretty much where they pick them up, and they can latch onto the dog to come inside, then jump off once inside and then jump on whatever untreated host - including humans - they can find. Which is probably why Colonel Mustard isn't scratching, but I've got six or seven bites and a huge case of creepy-crawlies.

So yes, it's still ongoing. Let's hope for a final end to the situation so that I don't die of toxic exposure from all the pesticides I've ingested in the past few weeks. I never knew it til now, but North Carolina is one of the worst states for fleas, and Charlotte's many shade trees make it even worse. Ugh, I just got a chill writing that.