I am so mad at Sony, Best Buy and Target, I could just SPIT.
A year ago, I bought a digital camera at the Sony outlet, which I was very excited about. When I got it home, my roommate and I realized that we had the same model, which was good for her - she could not find her charger. A few weeks ago, I went to go home for a few days and looked high and low and could not locate the charger. When I asked her about it, she said she had not seen it. She had just gone to Florida and I don't know if she took pictures there (meaning A charger had to have been used), but I figure whatever - if she has mine and thinks it's hers now, there's no way we'd ever resolve that, so I kept looking for the missing charger - only to still be unable to locate it after a complete and thorough cleaning of the house. I go back home a couple of days ago and resolve to finding a new charger.
First stop is Best Buy. While I DETEST Best Buy - it is, in fact, the WORST-named store in the history of retail. A more accurate name might be Most Expensive Buy And Shittiest Return Policy Ever, but I'm guessing that wouldn't fit neatly on the logo. I ask the pimply-faced kid for "a charger for this battery" and hold up the camera battery. He shows me the ONLY one in the store - SIXTY DOLLARS. Seriously, the camera only cost a hundred, WITH a charger and battery (a new battery is $50).
me: "are you kidding? That's ridiculous."
Best Bobby: "well, that's the only option."
me: "I am NOT paying $60 for that. Have a nice day."
Second Stop: Radio Shack. Batteries, but no charger.
Third Stop: Target. I walk to the electronics counter and ask the SAME question. The Red Shirt treats me a little like Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy from SNL. As if I know nothing about batteries or a camera. He's just a JERK.
me: "do you have a charger for this?"
Target Tommy: "NO, WE DON'T CARRY THEM. You have to order them." (apparently he gets this question a lot)
me: "where the HELL am I supposed to get them?"
Target Tommy: "from Sony. It's PROPRIETARY, that means that others can't..."
me: "thank you, I'm smarter than you think, I know EXACTLY what proprietary means. I just need the charger TODAY and don't have time to order one."
Target Tommy: "You have to get the charger AND batteries through Sony directly."
me: "Well, you're wrong, because Best Buy has a charger and a battery, they just cost $60 each."
Target Tommy: "well ma'am you should have bought them there."
No shit, Sherlock.
Stop Three: Best Buy again. The charger is sold out. The battery is $50. I finally figure a strategy: buy a NEW camera, borrow the charger for a couple hours, then take the whole thing back the next day. I ask Best Bobby what their return policy is on the camera.
Best Bobby: "14 days with receipt and a 15% restocking fee."
me: "FIFTEEN PERCENT? Can you waive it and I'll put it back on the damn shelf? Because that's all there is."
Best Bobby: "no, there's a LOT more involved with restocking."
Sure, like taking consumers for a ride, jerk. I'm never shopping there again.
Stop Four: Wal-Mart.
No charger, battery in stock. I ask to see the camera on display and find out that they're sold out of all the models with my battery type.
I bought the battery. I don't even care at this point that I'm doing it, but I'm going to use the battery, bring it back and say "it doesn't work." Sure, it doesn't work, it's dead after I've used it. My theory is that Sony's going to reimburse Wal-Mart for it. Because they should. I can't find ONE charger in this STATE for this camera, and I have to order it online instead. All a ploy in my mind for Sony to have me get desperate like I was, buy a battery at $50, then go online and buy a charger.
I need the charger now, but I do know that my cousin has an extra that she's going to give me when I get back to Philly.
Take that, Sony.
And I am STILL never shopping at Best Buy again. Target, I have to, and that was just one jerk in the store, not the company as a whole.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Using drugs to quit smoking...
As I've said before, I'm quitting smoking.
For real this time.
Like I said in my previous post, I KNOW I need to quit. I've tried before, and I'll admit, I wasn't ready. I think I'm ready this time, I genuinely want to be a NON-smoker, soon. That being said, I'm a hare, not a tortoise. I like fast results, fast. I skipped a year of high school, graduated from college in exactly four years, and got my masters in less than 18 months. I rarely write at more than one sitting, and I am queen of the microwave. I don't like to wait for ANYTHING. The problem simply lays within the fact that I need to consider this an endurance thing, not a sprint.
GRRRRRRRRR....
When I had my physical last year, my doctor refrained from scolding me about smoking, saying I knew the dangers, but that when I was ready, to come back and see her to talk about a plan. If anyone out there is a doctor, I highly recommend this approach - I mean really, we all know the dangers, and I think that one of the reasons lung cancer gets diagnosed so late in the game is that patients are sick of hearing their doctor yell at them about smoking.
So today, I went in and talked to her. She asked what I had thought about, and I said I had considered the patch but was concerned about the fact that it wasn't really attacking the desire to smoke so much as giving me a nicotine replacement - like trading heroin for methadone. I had tried the cold turkey method, but honestly, doing an activity every time I want a cigarette would mean that I'm running, crocheting, or whatever I'm replacing it with ALL DAY LONG for a solid two weeks. When you quit, the reality is that it's ALL you're thinking about for a while. She asked me if I wanted to try one of the prescriptions available, and I quickly said I would NOT go on Chantix - while I've heard that it works, I've also had one friend in particular tell me that it can lead to REALLY bad, depressing, suicidal thoughts as a side effect. Seriously, it even says this on the website:
So we came to Zyban. I was a little apprehensive since I don't want anything to interact with any medication I'm already on, but after the doctor AND the pharmacist assured that I'm okay, I'm starting the medicine tomorrow. I have to start it BEFORE my quit date (July 4th!), so by then, I will have wanted to smoke much less already. No, I know that I can't depend entirely on the medicine and that it'll be hard, but it's better than anything and has a higher success rate than what I've tried already.
We'll see, I'll keep you posted.
PS: As for Chantix's warning - wouldn't anyone who is quitting smoking have agitation, anxiety and the like anyway? Yeah, definitely not trying that one.
For real this time.
Like I said in my previous post, I KNOW I need to quit. I've tried before, and I'll admit, I wasn't ready. I think I'm ready this time, I genuinely want to be a NON-smoker, soon. That being said, I'm a hare, not a tortoise. I like fast results, fast. I skipped a year of high school, graduated from college in exactly four years, and got my masters in less than 18 months. I rarely write at more than one sitting, and I am queen of the microwave. I don't like to wait for ANYTHING. The problem simply lays within the fact that I need to consider this an endurance thing, not a sprint.
GRRRRRRRRR....
When I had my physical last year, my doctor refrained from scolding me about smoking, saying I knew the dangers, but that when I was ready, to come back and see her to talk about a plan. If anyone out there is a doctor, I highly recommend this approach - I mean really, we all know the dangers, and I think that one of the reasons lung cancer gets diagnosed so late in the game is that patients are sick of hearing their doctor yell at them about smoking.
So today, I went in and talked to her. She asked what I had thought about, and I said I had considered the patch but was concerned about the fact that it wasn't really attacking the desire to smoke so much as giving me a nicotine replacement - like trading heroin for methadone. I had tried the cold turkey method, but honestly, doing an activity every time I want a cigarette would mean that I'm running, crocheting, or whatever I'm replacing it with ALL DAY LONG for a solid two weeks. When you quit, the reality is that it's ALL you're thinking about for a while. She asked me if I wanted to try one of the prescriptions available, and I quickly said I would NOT go on Chantix - while I've heard that it works, I've also had one friend in particular tell me that it can lead to REALLY bad, depressing, suicidal thoughts as a side effect. Seriously, it even says this on the website:
You should know that some patients have reported changes in behavior, agitation, depressed mood, suicidal thoughts or actions when attempting to quit smoking while taking CHANTIX or after stopping CHANTIX. If you, your family or caregiver notice agitation, depressed mood, or changes in behavior that are not typical for you, or if you develop suicidal thoughts or actions, stop taking CHANTIX and call your doctor right away.Wow. Yeah, we've got enough mental problems in my family anyway, I don't need to add one to the list.
So we came to Zyban. I was a little apprehensive since I don't want anything to interact with any medication I'm already on, but after the doctor AND the pharmacist assured that I'm okay, I'm starting the medicine tomorrow. I have to start it BEFORE my quit date (July 4th!), so by then, I will have wanted to smoke much less already. No, I know that I can't depend entirely on the medicine and that it'll be hard, but it's better than anything and has a higher success rate than what I've tried already.
We'll see, I'll keep you posted.
PS: As for Chantix's warning - wouldn't anyone who is quitting smoking have agitation, anxiety and the like anyway? Yeah, definitely not trying that one.
Embarrassing is my middle name.
I've asked some friends before to tell me their most embarrassing moments and have come to a few conclusions. First, I think they're lying and won't tell me their REAL most embarrassing moment. Second, I have more embarrassing moments on a daily basis than most of my friends will ever have in their entire lives. I don't mind, things usually roll off my back and I have an enormous ability to laugh at myself. Honestly, I figure that if something stupid I've done gives someone the reason to laugh when they haven't done so all day - well then, yeah, I'll be the martyr and make an ass of myself.
Today, I made an ass of myself.
I went to a doctor's appointment in the morning (both to get an antibiotic for this massive-amounts-of-multicolored-snot-producing bug that I can't seem rid of and to talk about smoking cessation, which I'll tell about later), and instead of going home afterward, I decided to run some errands and just enjoy some sunshine. As I'm walking back to my place, I notice someone bent over, unlocking their bicycle from where it was chained to a parking meter. I recognize the make and model of the bike, the hairstyle, and even the jeans of its owner - my friend Steve, who lives in Center City. Seeing as how Steve and I usually greet each other with a similar gesture, I run up behind him and lay the hardest smack on his ass that I can generate, shouting "HEY good-looking, YO ASS looks FIIIIINE in them jeans!". He turns around.
It is not Steve.
That "want to just die" feeling? If I had been murdered right there, I'd have thanked the gunman. I almost threw up, honestly. NotSteve looks at me like I have just eaten his unborn child - he looks physically and mentally HURT. I turn 50,000 shades of red, and I truly believe I may have had a full-on niacin flush.
"Ohmygod iamsosorry I thought you were my friend, I swear, he has that exact bike and everything, I am so so so so sorry."
And then I notice that NotSteve's GIRLFRIEND is standing a mere three feet away. She looks like she's going to be that murderer that I am ready to thank for killing me. I apologize for another hour and a half or so, and all NotSteve says is "its okay, you just scared me, and that HURT." Girlfriend is staring me down and I'm fairly certain she might stab me with the keys she is holding. I explain that my friend looks JUST like him from behind, he lives in the area, and that he has a similar bike and the same jeans. No one's buying it.
Finally, adding insult to injury, NotSteve says...
"Wait, I know you, didn't you date XYZ (name deleted because he's an asshole) for a long time?"
Oh God.
More people are going to find out.
I am so happy that I am leaving the city tomorrow. Because I'm seriously considering inquiring into admission into the Witness Protection Program.
Today, I made an ass of myself.
I went to a doctor's appointment in the morning (both to get an antibiotic for this massive-amounts-of-multicolored-snot-producing bug that I can't seem rid of and to talk about smoking cessation, which I'll tell about later), and instead of going home afterward, I decided to run some errands and just enjoy some sunshine. As I'm walking back to my place, I notice someone bent over, unlocking their bicycle from where it was chained to a parking meter. I recognize the make and model of the bike, the hairstyle, and even the jeans of its owner - my friend Steve, who lives in Center City. Seeing as how Steve and I usually greet each other with a similar gesture, I run up behind him and lay the hardest smack on his ass that I can generate, shouting "HEY good-looking, YO ASS looks FIIIIINE in them jeans!". He turns around.
It is not Steve.
That "want to just die" feeling? If I had been murdered right there, I'd have thanked the gunman. I almost threw up, honestly. NotSteve looks at me like I have just eaten his unborn child - he looks physically and mentally HURT. I turn 50,000 shades of red, and I truly believe I may have had a full-on niacin flush.
"Ohmygod iamsosorry I thought you were my friend, I swear, he has that exact bike and everything, I am so so so so sorry."
And then I notice that NotSteve's GIRLFRIEND is standing a mere three feet away. She looks like she's going to be that murderer that I am ready to thank for killing me. I apologize for another hour and a half or so, and all NotSteve says is "its okay, you just scared me, and that HURT." Girlfriend is staring me down and I'm fairly certain she might stab me with the keys she is holding. I explain that my friend looks JUST like him from behind, he lives in the area, and that he has a similar bike and the same jeans. No one's buying it.
Finally, adding insult to injury, NotSteve says...
"Wait, I know you, didn't you date XYZ (name deleted because he's an asshole) for a long time?"
Oh God.
More people are going to find out.
I am so happy that I am leaving the city tomorrow. Because I'm seriously considering inquiring into admission into the Witness Protection Program.
Where the HELL are you, Molly?
I know, I disappeared for a couple of days.
Here's possible reasons for the above, framed in a game...three of the possible reasons are false. One is true. Can you figure out which one is the truth?
1. I was kidnapped by human traffickers. However, when the economy took a hit on even the world's oldest profession, my kidnappers decided to make it a good old-fashioned ransom situation and demanded $1 million from my parents. Taking a cue from O. Henry's "The Ransom of Red Chief", my parents gave them a couple of days and said "We'll tell you what: on Monday, send her back with a case of unmarked $20 bills totalling $1 million, and we'll call it even." I'm back, and my parents are headed to the Cayman Islands to hide their cash.
2. I hit the big time and my entire collection of paintings and drawings was bought by the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
3. I went to the Loony Bin, which has been classified in code-talk as "Happy Camp, Trip One".
4. I really had nothing to write about. My life is boring most days.
Here's possible reasons for the above, framed in a game...three of the possible reasons are false. One is true. Can you figure out which one is the truth?
1. I was kidnapped by human traffickers. However, when the economy took a hit on even the world's oldest profession, my kidnappers decided to make it a good old-fashioned ransom situation and demanded $1 million from my parents. Taking a cue from O. Henry's "The Ransom of Red Chief", my parents gave them a couple of days and said "We'll tell you what: on Monday, send her back with a case of unmarked $20 bills totalling $1 million, and we'll call it even." I'm back, and my parents are headed to the Cayman Islands to hide their cash.
2. I hit the big time and my entire collection of paintings and drawings was bought by the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
3. I went to the Loony Bin, which has been classified in code-talk as "Happy Camp, Trip One".
4. I really had nothing to write about. My life is boring most days.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Fair Warning!
I'm getting ready to go to bed and quite frankly don't have the time nor energy to write anything more than this, but I should get this one thing out: in the next couple of days, I'm going to write about Sex and the City: The Movie. I went to see it tonight, and yes, I'm a baby, and I cried through the last hour of it. I cry at stuff. Anyway, there might be some spoilers. So if you see ANY title with "Sex and the City", "Carrie Bradshaw", "movies" or WHATEVER in the title and I happen to NOT BLATANTLY warn you of spoilers, here's your warning: I might spoil parts of it. I'm sorry, I don't know what parts were in the press or not before the movie was released.
That being said, I leave you with the best line in the entire movie, which every fan of SATC - at least the ones who know the original intent of it - will stand up and cheer about:
"Why is it that we're able to write our own vows...but never our own rules?"
Amen, sister. Thank you for getting back to the Carrie that changed the world.
That being said, I leave you with the best line in the entire movie, which every fan of SATC - at least the ones who know the original intent of it - will stand up and cheer about:
"Why is it that we're able to write our own vows...but never our own rules?"
Amen, sister. Thank you for getting back to the Carrie that changed the world.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Smoking is a tough boyfriend to dump...
Spurred on by my list of goals to achieve in the next 1000 days, I'm tackling what might be one of the toughest tasks - quitting smoking.
I wasn't always a smoker. In the first 21 years of my life, I smoked maybe a pack and a half. I never actually bought a pack for myself until I moved to Boston - this is a little ironic, considering I grew up in tobacco country and went to school in the South, where smoking is still very much accepted. Boston even went smoke-free a few weeks before I moved there. But while doing graduate school full-time, going through the break-up of the longest relationship I've ever had and other significant stresses, I picked it up. I thought I'd never become "addicted", and to be honest, part of me still believes that I'm not. I've run the gamut for levels of indulgence in the cancer sticks - I've been a "smoker when I drink", a "closet smoker", a pack-a-day moron, a "smoker to kill the appetite" (this only works for a day or two, trust me - it no longer has an effect on my appetite), and even a "just one in the morning" smoker.
I know, it's not becoming. Trust me, I know. It ruins your skin, it causes cancer, it makes your lungs perform at record low levels, and it's just plain unattractive. I don't have to be sold on this aspect of it - I am perfectly aware of the risks to my health, my vanity and everything in between.
But I'll admit: I, as well as many other smokers, just plain LIKE to smoke. If you've never been a consistent smoker, well, good for you, but I haven't quit yet simply because I just like it. When my life sucks, and I'm about to bust out crying at anything, I can go out on the porch and escape everything for five minutes. After reading The Power of Now and realizing the importance of meditation, I've come to the conclusion that to many of us, smoking is an act of meditation. There's an unwritten "no assholes" rule on just about every smoker's porch in the world, and you can either socialize or choose to be by yourself out there. It calms you, helps you slow your breathing and blood pressure, and stabilizes emotions that have gone through the roof. A pack of Parliament Lights doesn't tell me that I'm doing things wrong, a lighter doesn't make me cry, and I don't think I've ever gotten in an honest-to-god argument with someone while smoking. Well, excluding my ex, that is.
That being said, again, I know I need to quit. I don't want to fail, so I'm trying to get a multi-pronged approach to removing that Philip Morris out of my life.
1. The patch. I think I can quit without it. But I don't want to find myself failing at the get-go because I haven't realized the full power of nicotine addiction. Cold turkey may work, but I don't want to make this too hard on myself.
2. Incentive. I'm thinking of setting up an ING account to take a dollar a day out of my checking so I can reward myself for not smoking. If I stumble, the money for that day goes to the American Cancer Society. Given the fact that I have very little money, however, I've got to figure out something else. Any ideas?
3. A built-in response to weakness. My quit date hasn't been established yet (I think I need a specific time built in stone where I just get rid of every pack laying around the house), but I'm kind of taking the weight watchers approach - I just need to recover from stumbles rather than give up on the whole goal. After my quit date, I'm giving myself ten moments of weakness. Ten. That may sound like a lot, but I'm guessing you've never been a smoker if it does. If I'm considering using one of them, I'll think long and hard as to whether or not I really want to use one of my ten.
4. Alternatives. I have to figure out something else to do when I usually smoke - when I'm walking the dog, when I'm driving, when I'm done with a meal, when I'm drinking, when I'm bored, when work is getting to me, etc. This is a lot harder than you think.
5. Figure out how to avoid the quitting-smoking weight gain. I personally don't care if I gain a few, but the reality is that I can't afford to not fit into my clothes. This is also pretty difficult - I'm allergic to chewing gum. I'm thinking about toothpicks, although I know I'll look like an even bigger redneck.
Any ideas? Anyone got an incentive they're willing to stake me to? I'll do the same for one of your goals.
I wasn't always a smoker. In the first 21 years of my life, I smoked maybe a pack and a half. I never actually bought a pack for myself until I moved to Boston - this is a little ironic, considering I grew up in tobacco country and went to school in the South, where smoking is still very much accepted. Boston even went smoke-free a few weeks before I moved there. But while doing graduate school full-time, going through the break-up of the longest relationship I've ever had and other significant stresses, I picked it up. I thought I'd never become "addicted", and to be honest, part of me still believes that I'm not. I've run the gamut for levels of indulgence in the cancer sticks - I've been a "smoker when I drink", a "closet smoker", a pack-a-day moron, a "smoker to kill the appetite" (this only works for a day or two, trust me - it no longer has an effect on my appetite), and even a "just one in the morning" smoker.
I know, it's not becoming. Trust me, I know. It ruins your skin, it causes cancer, it makes your lungs perform at record low levels, and it's just plain unattractive. I don't have to be sold on this aspect of it - I am perfectly aware of the risks to my health, my vanity and everything in between.
But I'll admit: I, as well as many other smokers, just plain LIKE to smoke. If you've never been a consistent smoker, well, good for you, but I haven't quit yet simply because I just like it. When my life sucks, and I'm about to bust out crying at anything, I can go out on the porch and escape everything for five minutes. After reading The Power of Now and realizing the importance of meditation, I've come to the conclusion that to many of us, smoking is an act of meditation. There's an unwritten "no assholes" rule on just about every smoker's porch in the world, and you can either socialize or choose to be by yourself out there. It calms you, helps you slow your breathing and blood pressure, and stabilizes emotions that have gone through the roof. A pack of Parliament Lights doesn't tell me that I'm doing things wrong, a lighter doesn't make me cry, and I don't think I've ever gotten in an honest-to-god argument with someone while smoking. Well, excluding my ex, that is.
That being said, again, I know I need to quit. I don't want to fail, so I'm trying to get a multi-pronged approach to removing that Philip Morris out of my life.
1. The patch. I think I can quit without it. But I don't want to find myself failing at the get-go because I haven't realized the full power of nicotine addiction. Cold turkey may work, but I don't want to make this too hard on myself.
2. Incentive. I'm thinking of setting up an ING account to take a dollar a day out of my checking so I can reward myself for not smoking. If I stumble, the money for that day goes to the American Cancer Society. Given the fact that I have very little money, however, I've got to figure out something else. Any ideas?
3. A built-in response to weakness. My quit date hasn't been established yet (I think I need a specific time built in stone where I just get rid of every pack laying around the house), but I'm kind of taking the weight watchers approach - I just need to recover from stumbles rather than give up on the whole goal. After my quit date, I'm giving myself ten moments of weakness. Ten. That may sound like a lot, but I'm guessing you've never been a smoker if it does. If I'm considering using one of them, I'll think long and hard as to whether or not I really want to use one of my ten.
4. Alternatives. I have to figure out something else to do when I usually smoke - when I'm walking the dog, when I'm driving, when I'm done with a meal, when I'm drinking, when I'm bored, when work is getting to me, etc. This is a lot harder than you think.
5. Figure out how to avoid the quitting-smoking weight gain. I personally don't care if I gain a few, but the reality is that I can't afford to not fit into my clothes. This is also pretty difficult - I'm allergic to chewing gum. I'm thinking about toothpicks, although I know I'll look like an even bigger redneck.
Any ideas? Anyone got an incentive they're willing to stake me to? I'll do the same for one of your goals.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
The 100 Books - 10 down, 90 to go.
I may have bitten off more than I can chew. After reviewing a few lists of "100 Greatest Books of All Time", I picked this one. No, it's not the one with the most books I've already read, it's actually a consensus of the other lists.
To be fair, I am not considering an item "read" if I bought the cliffs notes in high school or college. I started a lot of these, but I am making myself read the whole thing. Yes, I have to read the entire book to get credit and no, the movie doesn't count. The items in red are the ones I've already read. I consider it shameful that my mother is an English teacher, I consider myself a voracious reader, and I write for a living, yet I have only read about ten percent of these.
I think I'm going to start with Virginia Woolf's "To the Lighthouse".
Oh, and if you have any of these books, send them to me, I'll send them back!
1. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
2. ULYSSES by James Joyce
3. 1984 by George Orwell
4. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger
5. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
6. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
7. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller
8. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
9. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
10. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
11. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
12. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee
13. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien
14. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce
15. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
16. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
17. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
18. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
19. GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell
20. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
21. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
22. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
23. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
24. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
25. DAVID COPPERFIELD by Charles Dickens
26. EMMA by Jane Austen
27. TESS Of The D’URBERVILLES, Thomas Hardy
28. THE SCARLET LETTER by Nathaniel Hawthorne
29. WUTHERING HEIGHTS by Emily Bronte
30. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
31. SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
32. JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte
33. BELOVED by Toni Morrison
34. ANNA KAREINA by Leo Tolstoy
35. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway
36. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright
37. ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
38. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
39. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
40. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
41. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
42. HERZOG by Saul Bellow
43. THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS by Kenneth Grahame
44. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
45. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
46. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
47. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
48. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
49. THE WOMAN IN WHITE by Wilkie Collins
50. THINGS FALL APART by Chinua Achebe
51. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
52. MY ANTONIA by Willa Cather
53. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
54. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
55. THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP by John Irving
56. DON QUIXOTE by Miguel de Cervantes
57. TOM JONES by Henry Fielding
58. WAR AND PEACE by Leo Tolstoy
59. MOBY-DICK by Herman Melville
60. MADAME BOVARY by Gustave Flaubert
61. WINNIE THE POOH by A(lan) A(lexander) Milne
62. GREAT EXPECTATIONS by Charles Dickens
63. THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV by Feodor Dostoevsky
64. TRISTAM SHANDY by Laurence Sterne
65. LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa M. Alcott
66. VANITY FAIR by William Makepeace Thackeray
67. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by Jane Austen
68. IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME by Marcel Proust
69. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
70. THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand
71. GRAVITY’S RAINBOW by Thomas Pynchon
72. THE AWAKENING by Kate Chopin (1851-1904)
73. DUNE by Frank Herbert
74. A TOWN LIKE ALICE by Nevil Shute
75. ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND by Lewis Carroll
76. CLARISSA by Samuel Richardson
77. THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY by Douglas Adams
78. A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving
79. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO by Alexandre Dumas
80. THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY by Henry James
81. OF MICE AND MEN by John Steinbeck
82. ALL THE KING’S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
83. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
84. CHARLOTE’S WEB by E. B. White
85. ROBINSON CRUSOE by Daniel Defoe
86. CRIME AND PUNISHMENT by Feodor Dostoevsky
87. THE STAND by Stephen King
88. REBECCA by Daphne du Maurier
89. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
90. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
91. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
92. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
93. BLEAK HOUSE by Charles Dickens
94. ATLAS SHRUGGED by Ayn Rand
95. ABSALOM, ABSALOM! by William Faulkner
96. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
97. AUSTERLITZ by W. G. Sebald
98. THE TRIAL by Franz Kafka
99. WISE BLOOD by Flannery O’Connor
100. FRANKENSTEIN by Mary Shelley
To be fair, I am not considering an item "read" if I bought the cliffs notes in high school or college. I started a lot of these, but I am making myself read the whole thing. Yes, I have to read the entire book to get credit and no, the movie doesn't count. The items in red are the ones I've already read. I consider it shameful that my mother is an English teacher, I consider myself a voracious reader, and I write for a living, yet I have only read about ten percent of these.
I think I'm going to start with Virginia Woolf's "To the Lighthouse".
Oh, and if you have any of these books, send them to me, I'll send them back!
1. THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald
2. ULYSSES by James Joyce
3. 1984 by George Orwell
4. THE CATCHER IN THE RYE by J.D. Salinger
5. ON THE ROAD by Jack Kerouac
6. THE GRAPES OF WRATH by John Steinbeck
7. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller
8. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov
9. BRAVE NEW WORLD by Aldous Huxley
10. BRIDESHEAD REVISITED by Evelyn Waugh
11. THE SOUND AND THE FURY by William Faulkner
12. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD by Harper Lee
13. THE LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkien
14. A PORTRAIT OF THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN by James Joyce
15. ANIMAL FARM by George Orwell
16. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf
17. INVISIBLE MAN by Ralph Ellison
18. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Anthony Burgess
19. GONE WITH THE WIND by Margaret Mitchell
20. AS I LAY DYING by William Faulkner
21. A FAREWELL TO ARMS by Ernest Hemingway
22. A PASSAGE TO INDIA by E.M. Forster
23. LORD OF THE FLIES by William Golding
24. THE CALL OF THE WILD by Jack London
25. DAVID COPPERFIELD by Charles Dickens
26. EMMA by Jane Austen
27. TESS Of The D’URBERVILLES, Thomas Hardy
28. THE SCARLET LETTER by Nathaniel Hawthorne
29. WUTHERING HEIGHTS by Emily Bronte
30. THE HEART IS A LONELY HUNTER by Carson McCullers
31. SLAUGHTERHOUSE FIVE by Kurt Vonnegut
32. JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte
33. BELOVED by Toni Morrison
34. ANNA KAREINA by Leo Tolstoy
35. THE SUN ALSO RISES by Ernest Hemingway
36. NATIVE SON by Richard Wright
37. ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
38. NOSTROMO by Joseph Conrad
39. HEART OF DARKNESS by Joseph Conrad
40. UNDER THE VOLCANO by Malcolm Lowry
41. THE GOOD SOLDIER by Ford Madox Ford
42. HERZOG by Saul Bellow
43. THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS by Kenneth Grahame
44. U.S.A. (trilogy) by John Dos Passos
45. FINNEGANS WAKE by James Joyce
46. AN AMERICAN TRAGEDY by Theodore Dreiser
47. WOMEN IN LOVE by D.H. Lawrence
48. THE AGE OF INNOCENCE by Edith Wharton
49. THE WOMAN IN WHITE by Wilkie Collins
50. THINGS FALL APART by Chinua Achebe
51. TROPIC OF CANCER by Henry Miller
52. MY ANTONIA by Willa Cather
53. LIGHT IN AUGUST by William Faulkner
54. THE MAGUS by John Fowles
55. THE WORLD ACCORDING TO GARP by John Irving
56. DON QUIXOTE by Miguel de Cervantes
57. TOM JONES by Henry Fielding
58. WAR AND PEACE by Leo Tolstoy
59. MOBY-DICK by Herman Melville
60. MADAME BOVARY by Gustave Flaubert
61. WINNIE THE POOH by A(lan) A(lexander) Milne
62. GREAT EXPECTATIONS by Charles Dickens
63. THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV by Feodor Dostoevsky
64. TRISTAM SHANDY by Laurence Sterne
65. LITTLE WOMEN by Louisa M. Alcott
66. VANITY FAIR by William Makepeace Thackeray
67. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE by Jane Austen
68. IN SEARCH OF LOST TIME by Marcel Proust
69. THE AMBASSADORS by Henry James
70. THE FOUNTAINHEAD by Ayn Rand
71. GRAVITY’S RAINBOW by Thomas Pynchon
72. THE AWAKENING by Kate Chopin (1851-1904)
73. DUNE by Frank Herbert
74. A TOWN LIKE ALICE by Nevil Shute
75. ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND by Lewis Carroll
76. CLARISSA by Samuel Richardson
77. THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY by Douglas Adams
78. A PRAYER FOR OWEN MEANY by John Irving
79. THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO by Alexandre Dumas
80. THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY by Henry James
81. OF MICE AND MEN by John Steinbeck
82. ALL THE KING’S MEN by Robert Penn Warren
83. GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN by James Baldwin
84. CHARLOTE’S WEB by E. B. White
85. ROBINSON CRUSOE by Daniel Defoe
86. CRIME AND PUNISHMENT by Feodor Dostoevsky
87. THE STAND by Stephen King
88. REBECCA by Daphne du Maurier
89. I, CLAUDIUS by Robert Graves
90. HOWARDS END by E.M. Forster
91. TENDER IS THE NIGHT by F. Scott Fitzgerald
92. THE RAINBOW by D.H. Lawrence
93. BLEAK HOUSE by Charles Dickens
94. ATLAS SHRUGGED by Ayn Rand
95. ABSALOM, ABSALOM! by William Faulkner
96. THE WINGS OF THE DOVE by Henry James
97. AUSTERLITZ by W. G. Sebald
98. THE TRIAL by Franz Kafka
99. WISE BLOOD by Flannery O’Connor
100. FRANKENSTEIN by Mary Shelley
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