Big news: recent revelations about the real estate world.

Soooo...What's up with Molly? I finally have a few minutes, so I'll say hello and share some news that I realized I haven't discussed on here!

BIG NEWS...

No, I'm not pregnant, though everyone seems to be. And no, not getting married, though nothing in this world would make me happier than military discharge papers given to a certain Captain right now. Sidenote: since many have asked - the BF is stationed in California right now, and he ships out for deployment late fall. I kind of don't want to speak too much on a public forum on that, just because I get nervous in case the internet is patrolled by the enemy. I know, highly unlikely that they're reading my babble, but honestly, it scares the sh*t out of me every time I think about any of it. So I'll figure out some way to update y'all without such a public audience.

Anyway. The big news?

I'm likely buying a house soon. I know, you all are like "been there, done that." And Meghan has done it enough for all of us. But yes, after 16 moves over the past 12 years, I'm finally ready to move to some place that I will actually STAY. For at least three years, and hopefully past five. I signed with a real estate agent (a locally-owned small company, thanks to Drena's blog and my own preference for patronizing small businesses), and we've been doing the house-hunting. So far...I've read literally every listing in my price range, and have seen over a dozen in person.

And I don't know how so many people survive this experience. I'm already slammed at work, am running a freaking marathon in 8 weeks, and oh yeah, have to pack UP my current place. I know I'm forgetting something on my to-do list just by sitting here and writing this. Anyway, we saw a few (I'm committed on seeing 50 houses before I start freaking out), and I've figured out a few things:

1. There is absolutely no shortage of really ugly houses for sale in Charlotte, regardless of your price range. I bet you a million dollars that there's a house listed for over a million in Charlotte that has fake wood paneling or a dropped ceiling.
2. Location is everything, and resale value is everything. Especially when your realtor won't even let you out of the car to see a house when a location is THAT bad.
3. "Good" locations are incredibly arbitrary in Charlotte. Case in point: Grier Heights. You can buy a house for $40,000 that's liveable. The area is less than 2 square miles, and is completely surrounded on all 4 sides by Elizabeth, Chantilly, Cotswold and Eastover, which are 4 of the best areas in the city, with prices over $400,000 for a modest bungalow, if you can find one. But it's worse than Fallujah from what I've heard. I wouldn't know, I won't even venture in.
4. I'm REALLY trying to expand my thought. BUT. I am just not a fan of the Ranch/Split-Level/post WWII house. The irony is that all of my friends who live in them - love them. But me...I'm just different. I grew up in a house that was built in 1840. My mom bought the mother-of-all-blights when she split from my dad and then slowly turned it into one of the most unique houses I've ever been in, and my Dad bought 2 downtown rowhouses and restored one to the point that everyone who's EVER seen it thinks it's the most awesome house in Lynchburg. And hell, I lived next door to the workshop of one of Philly's most eclectic artists. All of that? I think I learned a bit of vision and a value of character. I'm trying to use that same vision for the ranch homes, but I dare say it's stretching even my wild imagination. I specifically hired the realtor I did, though, because he's the OTHER, more logical voice I need to hear, the one who will reign me in from creative clouds back down to practical earth. The one that tells me about return on investment, the one that points out asbestos ceiling tiles, and the one who indicates that an area is way worse than it appears. I'm guessing he'll be thinking about how I'm passing on gold mines and he'll inevitably have NO clue why I'll buy the house that I'll end up with, but he's good, and certainly earning his worth via time spent on emails and phone calls alone. My dad's fiancee (a realtor in Virginia) has also answered enough questions of mine that she's probably ready to keel over. I genuinely feel like a complete idiot about something else having to do with this process every day.
5. I'm starting to believe that "For Sale By Owner" means "Realtors wouldn't even take the listing because the Owner believes that it's worth twice what the market data says." I'm amazed at what some of them think their houses are worth.
6. Apparently, North Carolina defines a "bedroom" as a room with a closet and a doorway. It does NOT have to have a window.
7. Charlotte listing agents have a habit of classifying any adjacent bad area of town as "Arts District".
8. No Artists actually seem to LIVE in the Arts District. The Arts District's residents seem to be:
a) Yuppies.
b) Crazy old ladies.
c) Pothead renters.
d) People who were idiotic enough to invest in condos that promised to attract artists simply by calling them "factory lofts" when the only thing "factory" about them is that they were made in assembly line fashion to LOOK like converted factory spaces and renaming the streets for non-renaissance artists in a community called "renaissance".
I fall into category A & B to some extent, but my status as an artist means that I won't actually FIT IN with any of the four. D completely baffles me, however.
9. Meghan is my other voice of reason and for some reason ENJOYS house-shopping. Meghan, if you ever wanted to be a realtor for a living, I'd recommend you to anyone I'd ever meet, I think you've bought enough houses to be a fantastic buyer's agent.
10. On that note, I thought I would LOVE the "shopping" part. But sadly, it's not shopping in the sense that I enjoy it. The only way that it's like shopping for me is that it's like when you are raging on PMS and have to buy a bathing suit in March just after binging on Frito Pie and ice cream - nothing seems to fit, you're trying everything on, you've got a headache, and you're just praying for one to fall into your lap. And when you finally see a glimmer of light and hope, you realize you didn't check the price tag. Ironically, I feel way more confident about the once-I've-found-the-house side of things. Contract and project management. I do those for a living and do them WELL. I know how to negotiate, I know what I'm looking at, I know how to bring two sides together, and I know how to close out a checklist and make sure everything's legal, insured, and done right. I even know how to install faucets, tile bathrooms and deal with Home Depot, for crying out loud. It's the navigating through all the frogs to find the prince that has me stressed out.

But enough of my babble. I have to go running. Please, whatever real estate God is out there - send me a beautiful restored bungalow in my price range in Plaza-Midwood. I'll go to church every day, I'll be kinder, and I'll put more money in the Salvation Army kettle this Christmas.